Jessica Stroup’s thighs appear to have sculpted from melted wax and stomped on with cleats. Ew. (Celeb Slam)

Ivana Trump’s uterus is chock-full of hot fetus action! (The Blemish)

Jim Carrey is baning 23-year old ANTM finalist Anchal Joseph. (Hollywood Rag)

MTV’s “Skins” might have its next two episodes yanked because they violate U.S. child pornography laws! (ICYDK)

Macy Gray declares she is boycotting Israel. Israel and the rest of the world, in turn, don’t give a flying fuck. (Oh No They Didn’t)

More pics of the X-Men: First Class movie, now with extra Bacon! (Holy Moly!)

Queen of RuPaul’s Drag Race Yara Sofia looks more like a woman than Christina Aguilera or Coco. (Socialite Life)

Katie Holmes has been tickling her taint with the Scientology e-meter, and now she’s hooked! And probably growing hair on her palms. (Celebitchy)

Doutzen Kroes gave birth to a baby boy named Phyllon today. Phyllon, because Phallus and Fellate were already taken. (Moe Jackson)

Artie Lange death watch: six days and counting. (The Dirty)

Jake Gyllenhaal just can’t quit Taylor Swift. Or her assless chaps. (Pop Crunch)

Anna Lynne McCord makes out with a real honest-to-goodness wolf. (Celebrity Odor)

Nina Dobrev smolders in Flare. I smolder in cerulean and aubergine. I’m a winter, you see. (G Celeb)

Gwyneth Paltrow shows the world her GOOP-y crotch as she exits a car. (Gone Hollywood)

Lisa Veronica goes after Katy Perry on Twitter! Dozens react. (Allie is Wired)

Nicky Minaj seems to have been the victim of a circus hate crime. I know I sure hate her. (Celebrity Smack)

Darren Aronofsky + comic books= EPIC FAIL. (Agent Bedhead)

23-year old German porn star Cora dies after a botched boob job! Will you ever be able to look at hardcore German fisting without a tear coming to your eye? (TMZ)