One of the nice ladies who was with Charlie Sheen the night before he was hospitalized was the 22-year old star of such favorites as “Fuck My Mom and Me” and “Bohemian Buttfest,” Kacey Jordan. You might better recognize her from her snatch, seen here at Charlie’s house in the wee hours of the afternoon before he wound up unconscious in the ER. And just how does Charlie ply such delicate flowers, you ask? Hint: it’s not just cocaine and a chance to become the victim of assault and battery. Radar Online says:

Charlie Sheen promises to buy [the porn stars who service him] extravagant gifts.

His latest promise was made to Kacey Jordan, in the form of a brand new convertible Bentley.

“Ok for all the f**king haters… I’m getting a baby blue convertible Bentley next month so I dunno…HUSH fml,” the 22-year-old porn star wrote on her Twitter account Wednesday afternoon.

Seems Kacey may have gotten her hopes up in the aftermath of Charlie’s hospitalization – just like the porn stars that came before her, she’s hired a lawyer.

I wanna back up and just review that photo one more time. There are so many layers. Like an onion, only stinkier. Look past her puss and survey what’s on the table. First you’ll notice the can of Coca-Cola and a pack of smokes. Okay. That’s normal. But then there’s the disinfecting wipes. And… some Listerine. Hand sanitizer. Is that aftershave? And what the hell is that pink thing in the back? Throw in a pair of needle-nosed pliers and a car battery and you’ve got the sort of spread you’d expect to see after spending four hours bound and gagged in the trunk of an unmarked car. All that’s missing here is the shovel and a shallow grave.

Incredibly NSFW: