Charlie Sheen may love himself some drugs, but he doesn’t really need anything to get a high, because he is MADE of drugs. And he comes with its own consumer advisory. The Washington Post explains,

“I am on a drug. It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen.’ It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body,” the benched star of CBS’s “Two and a Half Men” said in an interview with ABC News, portions of which aired on its morning newsfotainment show, “Good Morning America.”

“I woke up and decided, you know, I’ve been kicked around. I’ve been criticized,” Sheen continued. ” I’ve been like the ‘Aw, shucks’ guy with, like, this bitchin’ rock-star life. And I’m just finally going to completely embrace it, wrap both arms around it and love it violently. And defend it violently through violent hatred.”

During his various interviews, Sheen acknowledged he’d used drugs in the past, saying the last time he used drugs, he “probably took more than anybody could survive.”

“I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them, because that’s how I roll,” he told “GMA.” “I have one speed. I have one gear — go.”

Sheen described himself as superhuman, citing a “different constitution,” “different brain” and “different heart” than normal people, allowing him to survive his drug binges.

“I got tiger blood, man,” he said. “My brain … fires in a way that is — I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

But he’s off drugs now, Sheen says, because it “bored the hell out of [him] after a while.” And relapse is not an option, he insists, because “I blinked and I cured my brain. … ‘Can’t’ is the Cancer of Happen.”

“GMA” wound up its interview with results of a drug test that Sheen submitted to, which proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’s been clean for at least 24 hours.

He definitely sounds like he’s in a manic episode of bi-polarism. It’s not a fun disease, but I can’t feel sorry for him since he’s the one who pumped himself full of drugs, which can trigger symptoms in bi-polar persons. Unfortunately for his family and friends, they’ll have to wait until he does something to harm someone else or himself (more than he already has done) before they can 5150 him.

A whole montage of his insane interviews: