Kim Kardashian given license to record a “song” must be a sign of the Apocalypse. I think her new single might even be the theme music the Four Horsemen ride in on. Star Magazine says,

The 30-year-old star of Kourtney & Kim Take New York visited Ryan Seacrest’s radio show this morning with her costar sister to premiere her new song, “Jam (Turn It Up).”

“OMG about to debut my new song JAM on @RyanSeacrest!” Kim tweeted from the studio. “The song will go up on itunes, proceeds going to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.”

Chatting with Ryan, Kim said she was anxious about her new career endeavor. “I think it’s only normal for me to be nervous — I’m human,” she said. “I’ve never sang before. This was definitely something that I don’t do.”

After listening to the song, Ryan was impressed, calling it “fun” and saying, “I want to be in a convertible with that cranked up right now.”

Kourt showered her sis with praises too, tweeting: “turn me up turn me up dj dj turn me up…yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! @kimkardashian new song makes we want to dance the night away…away!”

It’s really interesting that the cadence of “turn me up turn me up dj dj turn me up” syncopates perfectly with the pounding headache I suddenly got while listening to this shit. Coincidence? I think not!

At the Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar after-party: