VS Model Doutzen Kroes is Going to Outer Space

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In case it wasn’t clear just how completely unattainable she was, Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes is now going to outer space. One time I did PCP and fell in a well, which is about as close as you and I will ever get to exploring the cosmos. The Daily Mail says:

The supermodel will board the first Dutch commercial flight to space in 2014 as part of a charity initiative.

Working for the HIV and AIDS awareness group dance4life, Kroes will join 14 other passengers including DJ Armin van Buuren and Martin Schroder on the trip – with an extra ticket available to buy at auction.

Boy, life sure sounds fun for the rich and beautiful. Constant adulation from an adoring public, lots of little teacup unicorn-giraffe hybrids frolicking about, complete immunity from any and all legal prosecution, and now trips to outer fucking space. Well, I hope they get sucked into a black hole and come out on the other side where the ugly and the poor rule the masses and bleed the genetically-blessed and financially-savvy dry. In other words, the United States in about ten years. Thanks, Obamacare!

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