Miranda Kerr goes see-through at the Sympathy for Delicious screening in New York. (Moe Jackson)

Rachel Bilson bikini pictures ought to really crank your tractor. Assuming your tractor needs cranking. (Hollywood Rag)

That Hugh Hefner is such a rascal! In that he’s riding on one. Limited mobility can’t keep him down! (Celebslam)

Warren G is now selling penis pills. This gives a whole new meaning to “pull out my strap and lay them busters down.” (TMZ)

Zoe Kravitz is smoking for WONDERLAND Magazine. Finally, it’s nice to see big tobacco get a break once in a while. (ONTD)

Kristin Cavallari is engaged to Jay Cutler. I hope he managed not to fumble the engagement ring or throw it to the wrong finger. (The Blemish)

Amber Heard, underpants. Underpants, Amber Heard. Who says introductions have to be difficult? (CityRag)

And speaking of underpants, Lily Aldridge appears to be sniffing these panties. Or possibly using them as a surgeon’s mask. (The Grumpiest)

Meet Deep Throat girl Holly Michaels, and weep for her inevitable acid reflux problem. (DRW)

Charlie Sheen finds a new goddess on stage at his Florida show, one who can get him a senior citizen discount on movie tickets and breakfast buffets. Score! (Anything Hollywood)

Mariah Carey paints her pregnant belly like an Easter egg. Boy, that never gets old, does it? (Gone Hollywood)

Beyonce boasts some balcony sideboob. Peter Piper and his pickled peppers can suck it. (Celebs)

Gwyneth Paltrow hopes calling her grandmother a cunt on Chelsea Lately will make her seem more relatable to the public. Because you know how much the public hates grandmas. A bane on our existence, they are. (Celebitchy)

Kendra Wilkinson was made to do the samba. I’d say it was her best dance of the season, if I’d watched any of the season so far. I haven’t. (Bitten & Bound)

Who wants to see Sarah Jessica Parker’s puff nugget? Yeah, me neither. (Holy Moly)

Charlie Sheen bails out Lenny Dykstra, who has a problem with propositioning the hired help in the nude before they’ve actually been hired. See, you do it out of order and it all just gets kinda hairy. And I do mean that literally. Is the guy part Sasquatch? (Jezebel)

Oprah and Gayle’s topless booty dance will make you wish you’d been born in Chernobyl 25 years ago today. (Celeb Jihad)