Now that nobody cares anymore, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s housekeeper mistress is finally speaking out for the first time about her affair with the former governor of California. Radar Online says:

In what Anold Schwarzenegger’s baby mama Mildred Baena claims will be her first and only interview, she [tells] HELLO! Magazine… [she and Arnold were only intimate] “a few times.”

Baena confessed that once she started bringing her son around the Schwarzenegger home, “people in the house started whispering about how much they looked like each other.”

“I knew Arnold was the father [of my child], and maybe… [Arnold] wondered. But he never said anything to me.”

But Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver had an inkling about the illegitimate child. “She would say things like, ‘I’m here if you need to talk.’ Finally, she asked point blank.”

“She was so strong. She cried with me and told me to get off my knees. We held each other and I told her it wasn’t Arnie’s fault, that it takes two.”

It’s absolutely mind-blowing how unattractive this woman is. Good God. I wouldn’t fuck that she-beast with a bag of a hundred dicks. But let’s be honest, if I actually had a bag of a hundred dicks, the last thing I would do is share them with some Mexican. I’d tie a few to really long strings and then toss them over the side of an overpass around two in the morning to see how many hobos and transvestite prostitute meth addicts I could catch. It’d be just like that show “River Monsters,” except with more HIV and toothbrushes fashioned into shanks.