Break out your smelling salts and your hankies, because the wedding of Hugh Hefner and his Playmate girlfriend Crystal Harris is OFF — she’s even gone so far as to move out of the mansion. I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but it almost makes you think that the 25-year old stripper and the octogenarian’s relationship wasn’t really based on mutual respect and love after all. TMZ says:

Hugh Hefner’s fiancee Crystal Harris is a real-life runaway bride — 5 days before walking down the aisle, she bailed out of the Playboy Mansion and multiple sources say the wedding is off!

Our sources — who are all at the mansion — say Crystal and Hef had a nasty argument this weekend on the phone. When the dust settled Crystal decided to 86 the nuptials and quickly moved her stuff out.

The wedding was supposed to go down Saturday.

Something doesn’t add up here. It doesn’t make any sense that she would be the one to bail. He didn’t even make her sign a prenup. It’s everything a sexually-abused-runaway-turned-stripper could want out of life. I bet what actually happened is that her dowry wasn’t in the form of Confederate bills and heads of oxen and Hugh was rightfully incensed.

UPDATE: Radar Online is now saying that Crystal bailed on Hugh to be with Dr. Phil’s son, Jordan McGraw. Dr. Phil was later quoted as saying, “Don’t mess with Texas!”

At the crowning of the 2011 Playmate of the Year at the Palms last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures