Kelly Brook in a bikini: a story for the ages. (The Grumpiest)

Emma Watson begins life after Harry Potter as a hooker. It’s a logical turn of events. (Celeb Jihad)

Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale together at Comic-Con. It’s every nerd’s wet dream come magically to life. (Celeb Slam)

The Code of Men. Apparently they’ve always had one, and nobody told any of the guys I dated in high school. (Caveman Circus)

Alicia Keys in a bikini. Trust me, it’s only uphill from here. (G Celeb)

Ana de la Reguera wears transparent pants and a dickey made of rose petals to the premiere of “Cowboys & Aliens.” You wouldn’t expect someone with a name like de la Reguerrrrrra to show up in a sensible trouser and cardigan, now would you? (Moe Jackson)

Kim Kardashian’s thighs look enormous in that dress. There. I said it. (Hollywood Rag)

Tamara Melon is topless. I kinda wish she wasn’t. (Holy Moly!)

Amy Winehouse died alone in bed and no drug paraphernalia was found near her body. (Gone Hollywood)

And now her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil is speaking out about his tragic loss. Presumably as a way to promote the inevitable tell-all book about he’ll write about her. (Anything Hollywood)

First pics of Kristen Stewart as Snow White. Or Joan of Arc. I don’t care because I won’t see it. (Bitten & Bound)

OMG, Chris Colfer, Lea Michele, and Cory Monteith are not leaving “Glee!” Okay, so I was just pretending to care. (omg blog)

In honor of her being dumped, a gallery of sexy scantily-clad Kristin Cavallari photos. (COED Magazine)

The best four minutes of Mariah Carey’s totally insane HSN appearance. Seriously, WTF? (Jezebel)

Denise Richards is already whoring out her newest baby. That guarantees one apple that won’t fall far from the tree. (Amy Grindhouse)