Jul 27, 20117

Crystal Harris Says Sex with Hef Sucked

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Because dumping Hugh Hefner just 36 hours before the wedding wasn’t humiliating enough, Playboy’s own runaway bride Crystal Harris went on The Howard Stern Show yesterday to tell everyone he sucked in bed, too. The Daily Mail says:

Harris said sex with the 85-year-old Playboy founder lasted “like two seconds.”

She added: “Then I was just over it. I was like, ‘Ahhh.’ I was over it. I just like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef. Sorry.”

She dealt a further blow to the ladies man’s reputation when she revealed they had only been intimate once.

She said: “He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked.”

And he was going to marry this bitch. Unbelievable. She completely and utterly humiliated him. There could be pictures of him being spoon-fed creamed corn in an adult diaper with his pants around his knees and he still would seem like less of a doddering old fool than he does right now.

Whoring her whore self in Vegas:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Captain_Insano

    I’m sure Hef doesn’t give two shits about this hag. One bleached blond bimbo takes the place of the last. He can do better than a 24 year old who looks 42.

    Jul 27th, 2011

  2. RebelBoy

    Don’t believe ANYTHING this CUM DUMPSTER whore says!
    The only thing that would come out of her mouth that I would believe is…..well….I don’t want to be too graphic or improper, so I’ll leave it to your gritty imagination.

    RebelBoy tellin’ it like it is!

    Jul 28th, 2011

  3. shwan

    This guy is 85 and is probably second to Wilt Chamberlain in poon slayin, what did she think sex would be like. Hefs had hundreds of girls hotter than her, she probably just didn’t do it for him. She is a bitter bitch who is doing everything she can to keep her 15 minutes going.

    Jul 28th, 2011

  4. Robert

    You guys are such a pathetic mess bagging on Crystal. What she is doing is classless, but Hef is a loser. And a user. The man is 85 and probably next to worthless, as his taste in women has been questionable ever since about 2001/2002.

    Jul 28th, 2011

  5. 223-Bronser

    That old wind hag such a phony loser.

    Jul 29th, 2011

  6. Patrick

    Robert are you seriously gonna sit there and condone her for leaving Hef the way she did honestly if the sex sucked so bad why oh why did she accept his proposal, for one thing he is 80 something. We bagging on her cause its clear shes only doing this to remain relevant and also the fact that Hef is being the bigger person and keeping his mouth shut but shes just continuing the mud slinging whick isnt cool at all. Oh and i guess being a multi-millionaire with more pussy that a man can want makes him “worthless” huh

    Jul 29th, 2011

  7. cheap north face

    So Proudof nour nnephew driving the horse, Hes so wonderful!!

    Aug 1st, 2011

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