It was revealed last month that Salma Hayek’s billionaire husband Francois Henri-Pinault was the mystery father of 90′s supermodel Linda Evangelista’s bastard child, and before you clutch your pearls and gasp with disbelief, you should know that little Augustin was not the product of an affair — he was conceived back in 2006 while Henri-Pinault and Salma were on a break. Long story short, Linda Evangelista is now demanding $46,000 a month in child support from her baby daddy. Us Magazine says:

Evangelista, 46, arrived at Manhattan family court on Monday to argue her case; Support Magistrate Matthew Troy called the request “the largest support order in the history of the Family Court.”

Evangelista’s lawyer argued that monthly sum — totaling $552,000 a year — would cover costs for round-the-clock nannies, drivers and security detail to keep little Augustin well-adjusted and safe.

Half a million dollars a year? I think that’s a bit much. I’m a mother, and I know firsthand that all you really need to keep a child “well-adjusted” and “safe” is a monthly WIC check, a Play Station 3, and the Cartoon Network. It’s up to the public school system to do the rest.

Linda Evangelista + the greatest supermodels of the 90′s — Helena Christensen, Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, and Stephanie Seymour — in GQ Russia earlier this year: