According to Gerard Depardieu, that little incident where he pissed in the aisle of an airplane wasn’t his fault. He claims that he has prostate problems and so, you see, HAD to whip out his dick in front of everyone and pee. Says TMZ,

Gerard Depardieu is finally explaining why he peed on the floor of an Air France plane this week … blaming the whole thing on prostate issues … but insisting he “offered to clean up the mess.”

Gerard’s traveling companion on the flight, Edouard Baer, has released a statement on Depardieu’s behalf, saying, “[Gerard] has prostate problems and it was very worrying and humiliating for him.”

Baer claims he gave Gerard a bottle to pee in while the two were on the plane … but the bottle quickly overflowed …and when the flight attendant refused to let the actor use the lavatory because the crew was preparing for take-off, Gerard decided to finish on the floor.

The rep insists Gerard is “upset” about the situation — adding, “He was also stone-cold sober at the time. This is not the way he usually behaves.”

Last time I checked,  you normally have a hard time getting any pee to come out when you’re having prostate problems, not an overproduction of urine. If he had just admitted, “Hey, what can I say? I am French, zis is zee way I bee-have”, then everyone would just had nodded their heads in understanding and not thought anything of it. You expect  a Frenchman to be rude, just like you expect them to be gigantic pussy-cowards. Goes with the territory.

It was either pictures of Ashley Greene or anatomical diagrams of an enlarged prostate. Guess which one won out?