49-year old Jim Carrey professed his love for 22-year old Emma Stone in an altogether disturbing video posted on his official website yesterday. Us Magazine says:

“Emma, I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but smart and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you,” Carrey tells her. “We would have chubby little freckle-faced kids, we’d laugh all day long, go camping and play Yahtzee. Tell ghost stories by the fire.”

When Carrey references the “sex” he hopes to have with the star, he momentarily loses his train of thought.

“And every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you,” the actor continues. “But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little gray in my beard, and it takes me a little bit longer to pee than it used to.”

Though Stone is currently dating her Amazing Spider-Man costar Andrew Garfield, Carrey “just wanted to let [her] know how I felt.”

“I think you’re very special and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment,” the Mr. Popper’s Penguins star tells Stone. “But most of all, I wish you love and contentment.”

Jim Carrey has really fucking lost it. This is exactly the sort of video that would be entered into evidence when requesting a restraining order. Next thing you know, he’ll be making her a sweater out of eyelashes and semen and sorting through her trash like a damn raccoon.