Sep 21, 20114

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. announced yesterday that they were going their separate ways after over thirty years together. Front man Michael Stipe wrote on their official website:

“A wise man once said ‘the skill in attending a party is knowing when it’s time to leave.’ We built something extraordinary together. We did this thing. And now we’re going to walk away from it.

I hope our fans realize this wasn’t an easy decision; but all things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way.

We have to thank all the people who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he shot down any rumors of dissension within the band, adding:

“We have always been a band in the truest sense of the word. Brothers who truly love and respect each other. We feel kind of like pioneers in this — there’s no disharmony here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve made this decision together, amicably and with each other’s best interests at heart.”

And to prove there were no hard feelings, Michael Stipe promptly unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and riotous mane of pubic hair on the internet. Makes perfect sense, really. We just broke up, so here’s my dick. You’d be surprised how many of my relationships have ended with that very phrase.

4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. anony

    SO, AliceWhite…..what does blackwhitebullshitwhatever have to do with Michael Stipe’s cock? Hmmmm?…..

    Sep 22nd, 2011

  2. sonya

    Damn, for a second I thought my Uncle Larry had taken his penis-flashing habits to the internet.

    Sep 22nd, 2011

  3. Amanda

    Attractive, ambitious & young. There are many college students, aspiring actresses or someone just starting out on Sugarbabymeet.c0m. You could seek a generous Benefactor to pamper, mentor and take care of you — perhaps to help you financially?

    Sep 28th, 2011

  4. Louise kennedy

    Michael Stipe’s Cock? Why the hell not flaunt it? Very attractive man, equally pleasing body-shows he’s comfortable in his own skin, and why the hell not? The guy is 51, celebrating life, who the hell cares what anyone else thinks! My body would traumatise the general public, so good on Michael Stipe!

    Mar 11th, 2012

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