Kristen Stewart at the UK Twilight Premiere

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I was trying to tell which one of these two twats looked like they were more miserable, and honestly, I couldn’t decide. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson both look like they’re trying to squeeze the itch out of an anal polyp. Hate to break it to you, kids, but that’s a two-finger job. Clenching and soulful staring isn’t gonna cure what ails ya.

On the red carpet at the “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” premiere in the UK last night:

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