The MTV babes of yore — Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra cougar up on the red carpet. (G Celeb)

Irina Shayk and Jessica White are totally the naughtiest of all the Sports Illustrated models. You can just tell. (Moe Jackson)

Gisele Bundchen defends husband Tom Brady by declaring he can’t “throw the fucking ball and catch the ball at the same time,” effectively blaming the Patriots receivers, which of course sat really well with the fans. (Celeb Slam)

Tila Tequila in a bikini, because it’s the only time she’s passably tolerable. (Hollywood Rag)

The Top Five Super Bowl commercials from last night, if you were too drunk to remember any them today. (Bitten & Bound)

America in pictures, beginning with a 230 lb. five-year-old. U-S-A! U-S-A! (Caveman Circus)

Ludacris got crizzunk at the Maxim Super Bowl party. And my black friend Tyrone said I wouldn’t be able to use “crizzunk” in everyday conversation without getting punched in the face. (Busted Coverage)

Katy Perry wants to park her chocha directly on Tim Tebow’s, um… pee-bow. I’m sorry, I drank a lot last night. (popbytes)

Pick-a-dick? Where do I sign up? (Seriously? OMG)

Brad Pitt reveals that Angelina Jolie is still “every bit a bad girl at heart,” prompting a chorus of belligerent, “Fuck you, Brad Pitts!” from everybody else. (Celebitchy)

Troian Bellisario and Patrick J. Adams are dating! Yeah… no idea. I’m pretty sure that first one is a girl. (Right Celebrity)

Meet the Romanian porn model with an “all-natural” 20-inch waist. And by “all-natural” I mean “she naturally had three ribs removed and strapped herself into a corset 18 hours a day for the last twenty years.” (Jezebel)

It’s Miss COED January… and Miss COED February, and they both brought their bikinis! What a fortuitous turn of events! (COED Magazine)