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A Few of My Favorite Things: Mermaid Edition

Chanel did it last year and Giorgio Armani and Helmut Lang did it this spring — the life aquatic has definitely been a prevalent trend on runways in 2013. Here are some of my favorite ways to get your mermaid on without British Petroleum and a lack of gills salting your game.

FACE: You can’t be a mermaid without a pearlescent glow. Nars The Multiple in Copacabana ($30) is an all-in-one illuminating makeup stick that highlights eyes, cheeks, lips, and body without requiring the use of both hands, a must for me because most of my makeup is done while operating a motor vehicle.

LIPS: Laura Mercier Lip Glace in Blush ($27) was my go-to, fail-safe color when I worked for Laura Mercier. It works on every skin tone, has enough pigment to give some color while being still being sheer. It’s THE perfect lip gloss. Layer it with a little Yves St Laurent Golden Gloss in Macademia ($30) to give it an ethereal underwater gleam.

NAILS: Butter 3Free Nail Lacquer in Knackered ($15) is a gorgeous purple-y oyster shade with micro glitter particles that make it silvery-violet with an aquamarine halo. It’s like wearing mermaid scales on your fingers. ($15)

SKIN: Glowing skin is essential for an aquatic feel, so dry and leathery are out. Here’s what you’ll find in Carol’s Daughter Almond Cookie collection: shea butter, coconut and acai extract, aloe leaf, and sweet almond and grapeseed oils. Here’s what you won’t find in Carol’s Daughter Almond Cookie collection: parabens, silicone, alcohol, petroleum, mineral oil, or artificial colors. Her stuff will turn your skin into spongecake, I swear (unless you’re Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil, in which case it will turn your skin to a rubbery-yet-malleable jerky). I don’t think I’ve ever been so radiant.

HAIR: This Starfish barrette ($145) is a great way to make the messy-ponytail-because-you-didn’t-wake-up-in-time-to-shower look like an enchanting mermaid updo. (I also LOVE LOVE this headband that looks like a mermaid crown, so whoever sent me that lock of hair and picture of the Pope with his eyes blacked out, this is more the route you should go next time.)

PAIR WITH: To keep from OD-ing on the undersea trend, pair your shiny/pearly/floaty pieces with something edgy or utilitarian, like a motorcycle jacket or distressed denim. I just about live in jeans, and I’ve tried every designer brand known to man, and I always come back to Joe’s. I love the rolled vintage ($172) and the cuffed crop ($158) with a bright pointy-toe heel (e.g. these amazing Sergio Rossi China blue patent leather pumps, $515). I figure if you can’t have a tail or breathe underwater, patent leather pumps are the next best thing.