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Adrienne Bailon is a Disaster and Other News

Former Cheetah Girls star Adrienne Bailon (I think she was Skanky Spice on the show) wore this slashed-to-the-navel lace dress and enough makeup for six women at the Hpnotic liquor launch in New York last night. It’s certainly a dress that makes a statement, I’ll give her that. I just can’t decide whether that statement is “I’m a victim of sexual assault” or “I’m about to turn green and Hulk out the rest of the way.” Either way, I hate it.

In other news…

Beyonce’s fifth fragrance “Pulse” features top notes of bergamot and blue curacao liqueur. Drinking your perfume just got a whole lot easier, closet alcoholics! (The Daily Stab)

Amanda Seyfried ditched her Life Alert necklace when she changed into her after-party dress. I just hope she didn’t end up limited by her mobility later on in the evening. Then she’d be kicking herself. (Moe Jackson)

What did we learn from these 15 beyond-weird science experiments? Well, for one, that spiders do NOT like being tinkled on, no matter how much acid you dropped beforehand. Seriously. There was a study. (Mandatory)

Lady Gaga might have been stripped of 156 million YouTube views, but you can never strip her of her dignity. Mostly because she never had any dignity to begin with. (Huffington Post)

Now Chris Brown is assaulting gays, too. I guess this is what Rihanna meant when she told Oprah he was “growing.” (Hollywood Rag)

Volkswagen’s new Super Bowl commercial has everyone’s panties in a twist because it’s Minnesota white people doing a black Jamaican accents. Whereas if this were a commercial of black Jamaican people doing Minnesota white people accents, everybody would think it’s hilarious. (Jezebel)

A simple explanation on how to wear a matte lip courtesy makeup maven Bobbi Brown. (Fab Over 40)

Somehow I missed Morena Baccarin’s secret garden peacock dress at the SAG Awards. I think I may have subconsciously blocked it because it was too painful. It’s a coping mechanism. (Go Fug Yourself)

Amy Poehler landed a book deal! (popbytes)

Justin Bieber gropes a fan like he’s Ted Kennedy at a barbeque. (Celebitchy)

Diet Coke model Andrew Cooper for old times’ sake, because reminiscing can be fun! (Socialite Life)

Beyonce without makeup… or photoshop or Spanx or a pre-recorded track. (Evil Beet)

Taxidermy is best left to professionals. A heavy coat of polyurethane doesn’t always stop the decomposition process. (Caveman Circus)