Scarlett Johansson told David Letterman that when she was 20, she went to a strip club with her brother and some friends to celebrate her 21th birthday, and she was offered a lapdance. It could have been funny, except that she got injured by the stripper. She explained:

“When I turned 20 I had a birthday at Disneyland, but this year my brother wanted to go to a strip club so we went there instead. “So we got there and somebody ordered me a lap dance. At first I was like, ‘No, no, no and then I was like, ‘OK, I will.’ “I never know what to say. I sort of say things like ‘Are you in school?’ and ‘Is Candy your real name?’ I had a very strange experience. “I had this very tall girl, she was Amazonian. She was like this tall really, really skinny girl and quite manic and strange. “She was kind of gyrating into me. She was so thin her pelvic or hipbone or some kind of bone bruised me. “She was being all sexy and there’s areas that bruise easily! It was horrible.”

Poor Scarlett, I feel for you. My girlfriend and some friends invited me to a strip club to celebrate my birthday some years ago and I got a lapdance. The stripper was pretty and had huge boobs so everything was fine. Until she inadvertently hit me with her boobs. I collapsed and was taken to the hospital where it took me a few hours to recover. But still, it’s better than being bruised by bones.

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