Sep 22, 2006
Jessica Simpson Has an Afterparty
Jessica Simspon put on her Sunday best for the “Employee of the Month” afterparty on Tuesday night. And by “Sunday best” I mean “blue medical tape that she fashioned into a dress.” I believe she was going for the “dramatic smoky eye,” too, but somehow ended up with the “unhappy prostitute eye.” Not quite as sexy. Unless you’re into sad hookers, of course. Tara Reid works that look all the time.
More pics of the unhappy prostitute after the jump.
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Lumpy Sludge
She looks like she just got done with a three hour sex-fest with me.
Ye(ee)ah! I’d hit it.
Sep 22nd, 2006
ApacheRose
Maybe she looks so sad because she just realized that the dress makes her shoulders look impossibly wide, and therefore.. she looks like a damn tranny. Not impressed.
Sep 22nd, 2006
Italian Stallion
Lumpy:
You mean with her dad, right? Right?
In the second to the bottom, looks like she’s looking in one of those carnival mirrors…………
Sep 22nd, 2006
abby
I give her two more years before she’s on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club or Skinemax showing her boobies.
Sep 22nd, 2006
blotto98
God! Jealousy is a vicious animal, eh ladies?
Sep 22nd, 2006
easy e
Angelina Jolie is hot. Adriana Lima is hot. Jessica Simpson is NOT. Why is it that you can’t disparage a female celebrity without bitches calling you jealous?
Sep 22nd, 2006
sonya
@ easy e. Thank you.
I’m only into sad hookers if they’ve got a tear tattooed on their cheek and go by the name of “Sad Girl”.
Sep 22nd, 2006
Lumpy Sludge
Stallion, I stand corrected and I happen to be standing right next to Abby (Spanks) with my hand on her ripe, plump ass.
Sep 22nd, 2006
abby
I heard the sound of doves cooing and realized that somewhere, someone was lauding my ass. I think an angel got its wings.
In other news, I got a tear tattooed on my cheek, Sonya. Only it’s less of a “tear” and more of a “tiny pair of testicles.” Never ever go to a tattoo parlor drunk. It never works out like you planned.
Sep 22nd, 2006
Lumpy Sludge
You have very good ears Abby, or maybe it’s a sixth sense.
In other news, perhaps you should never ever go to a tattoo parlor where the tattoo artist is drunk!
Sep 23rd, 2006
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