Sep 28, 2006

Drugs Killed Anna Nicole’s Son

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People reported yesterday that a lethal combination of Lexapro, Zoloft and Methadone caused the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s 20-year-old son Daniel. The drugs’ interaction caused a cardiac dysrhythmia. Pathologist Cyril Wecht told People:

“In my opinion it’s an accidental death… Daniel was taking three drugs and not a large dose of a single drug, paired with the fact that he was celebrating a happy occasion with his mother.”

I know that I never celebrate any happy family occasions without mixing my antidepressants with the medicine they prescribed to wean me off heroin. Methadone helps with the shakes and sweats and uncontrollable pants-shitting associated with easing off the smack. So you’d definitely want to dope up before hitting obstetrics, because pooping your pants really puts a damper on joyous familial gatherings like the birthing of a bastard child.

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6 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. easy e

    Can’t say I’m surprised he had a secret drug problem. I am suprised he lasted as long as he did with Anna Nicole for a mother.

    Sep 28th, 2006

  2. sonya

    If I was a young man I sure was hell wouldn’t want my mom to be smooching all over me like that like I was her secret incestuous lover.

    Or would I? Hmm, I don’t know, I’m not a male.

    Sep 28th, 2006

  3. Midnight

    This is sad.

    Sep 28th, 2006

  4. abby

    Yeah, drug overdoses are never as funny as they seem. Weird. Probably a good reason NOT TO FUCKING DO HEROIN. It’s not like “H” gets misrepresented as a carefree and non-addictive way to catch a buzz –you know exactly what you’re getting into the first time you do it.

    @ Sonya: My grandfather kisses me like that. It makes me a little uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as when he chases me around the house with his genitals exposed. That’s just grandpa for ya.

    Sep 28th, 2006

  5. sonya

    Abby, MY gramps does that too! But it’s not when my grandpa kisses me like that that bothers me, it’s when he slips his tongue in my ear. Now THAT’S crossing the line.

    Sep 28th, 2006

  6. Lumpy Sludge

    My Mommy said I was cute!!!

    Sep 28th, 2006

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