Britney Spears Fires Her Publicist
Britney Spears has axed her longtime publicist Leslie Sloane-Zelnick and commandeered her own public relations campaign, according to World Entertainment Network News.
Sloane-Zelnick, who is also Lindsay Lohan’s publicist, has been on hiatus since early September — you might remember the awesome job Britney did on her self-managed Today Show interview in which she chomped on gum, made finger quotes about seventeen times, and spilled her copious flesh out of a too-small skirt and top. Britney’s first PR attempt sans-publicist has been to negotiate with People magazine for the exclusive rights to the first photos of new son Sutton Pierce.
I can see why she’d want to 86 her publicist and take over her public image herself, because she’s done such a terrific job of it these last few months. The brillilantly executed joke about her misplacing Sean Preston at the VMA’s; the Harpaar’s Bazaar naked pregnancy photo shoot; her douchebag husband’s burgeoning rap career — I really think that Britney is on the fast track to reclaiming her status as a sex symbol pop star. And by “fast track” I mean “the dirt road behind the Dairy Queen,” and by “sex symbol pop star” I mean “fat hillbilly laughingstock.”
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
easy e
“Dirt road behind the DQ”… what’s wrong with that? I have a trailer on a dirt road behind the DQ, and it’s fucking awesome.
Sep 29th, 2006
sonya
I love it when Abby has hidden meanings behind everything. Makes me feel like I’m part of The Da Vinci Code or something. Only without the bad hair.
Sep 29th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
“the dirt road behind the Dairy Queen,”
That’s nothing, I’ve got a ‘Hershey Highway’ in my underwear !!!
Sep 29th, 2006
abby
I thought only the gays traversed the “Hershey Highway.” Something you want to tell us, Walrus?
Sep 29th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Let me clarify, the “Hershey Highway.” to me, means shit stained underwear.
Go here… http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hershey Highway …and read #10, keeping in mind, the comment numbers on that site change when a new one is added.
Here’s #10 at THIS time:
10. hershey highway
“The brown poo skid mark left on underwear when one does not properly wipe one’s own ass.”
I rest my case.
Sep 30th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
The above link was supposed to take you here:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hershey highway
Sep 30th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Okay, this is pissing me off.
As far as linking pages on this site goes, THE SERVER SUCKS
After you click the link, in the URL window (the window with the “http://www.urbandicitonary…” in it) add ” highway ” at the end. Click enter. If that doesn’t work,
I HAVE NOT NOW NOR HAVE I EVER, INSERTED ANYTHING UP MY ASS!!!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hershey highway
Okay, one time there was this chicks tongue… … but that’s a whole different story!
Sep 30th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
add ” highway “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 30th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Why won’t the plus sign, you know, the thing above the equal sign, next to the backspace key on you keyboard, post, on this fucked up, bullshit site.
type ” the plus signhighway” after Hershey and that should rest my case.
Sorry Abby, but I AM REALLY GETTING PISSED FUCKING OFF HERE. So much so, that I may never come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK
Sep 30th, 2006
abby
Wow, thanks for calling it a “bullshit fucked up site!” That’s really awesome. Maybe you could insult my mother and spit in my face while you’re at it.
Sep 30th, 2006
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