Lindsay and Keira are Anorlesbic
Lindsay Lohan shocked the tabloid media last week when she announced that she plans to take a year-long sabbatical from acting. Naturally, she wants to go out on a high note, and what better way to leave Hollywood wanting for more than some sexy lesbian scenes with actress Keira Knightley? World Entertainment Network News reports:
Lindsay and Keira are set to light up the screen together in a film about Welsh poet DYLAN THOMAS, in which they play women who are sexually attracted to each other. Lohan is thrilled about working with Knightley, whose character Lohan describes as having a cryptic relationship with her own. She tells MTV News, “(Keira) is older than me, but she kind of has a mysterious relationship with my lover. And there’s somewhat of a lesbian undertone.”
Somewhat of a lesbian undertone? Look, either there’s some hot girl-on-girl action, or there’s not. And don’t try to give me any of that arthouse pensive longing stares and cleverly disguised lesbian symbolism stuff. Some crap like two ripe flower blossoms brushing against each other while the two women stand in the garden with their stupid fucking pensive longing stares. If I want to see people staring longingly, I’ll head down to the soup kitchen and break out the benjamins and pretend like I’m going to start passing ‘em around. And If I want to see some hot girl-on-girl action, I’ll rent “Sorority Sluts 5″ and spend the next eight hours by myself. And if I want to see a freckled skeleton with breast implants possibly make out with another skeleton with gigantic eyebrows, well, then, I’ll just punch myself square in the box, because really, who wants to see that? Nobody, that’s who.
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
sonya
Abby, you freakin’ crack me up. Rock on, bitch, rock on.
Oct 16th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Girl on Girl action, don’t let ME stand in the way.
Let ME stand in the middle!!!
Oct 16th, 2006
abby
Sonya, I have to tell you, my boss told me the other day that he thought your fart comment on the Sylvester Stallone thread was hilarious. He mentioned it to me in an email. So you rock on with your bad self, too! We love you over here.
Oct 16th, 2006
abby
We also love you, too, Walrus. You give fidelity a run for it’s money. Plus, you’re a former marine, so a big HELL YEAH to you. Oh, yeah, Devil Dawgs! Kill kill kill!
Oct 16th, 2006
sonya
Farts are so hot right now. But that could also mean I have diarrhea.
Oct 16th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Well… but… Sonya has “fidelity” too!!
Let us not forget the Marine Corps motto…
…Semper Fidelis… which is latin for Always Faithful.
You forgot “Leathernecks”, “Jarheads”, “First to Fight”, and an oldy but a goody “Gyrenes”, just to name a few.
Oct 16th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, I’ve been trying now for what seems like hours, to figure out what “Anorlesbic” meant. I even went so far as to copy & paste it to an online dictionary I frequent, but to no avail.
Then it hit me, it’s an Abby-ism for “anorexic” and “lesbian” all jumbled up.
I sometime wish I had a “rapists wit”.
Oct 16th, 2006
abby
You’re like fucking Encyclopedia Brown, you are, Walrus!
P.S. You can acquire a “rapist’s wit” by dropping out of college after having amassed several student loans, smoking a lot of pot and wasting your intellect making up words and making fun of people you don’t even know. I call it my “Three-Step-Plan to Mediocrity and Rapistswitticism.”
Oct 16th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Hi, my name is Walrus, Walrus Gump……LOL
I got that shit right away you toolbox……
I was laughing my ass off at that and then at the fact that you didn’t get it…..
Oct 16th, 2006
Italian Stallion
I have to bust balls sometimes, It’s in my Italian blood dude. Real Brandon Davis kind of shit…….
Brandon Davis can be switched out with greaseball, but I thought it sounded better the first time……..
Oct 16th, 2006
gerti
lmao. this is too funny.
Oct 17th, 2006
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