Guess That Classy Ass

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Have a look at this classy ass here and see if you can guess which overexposed celebrity it belongs to. Okay, I’ll give you a hint: her last name rhymes with “rears.” I doubt that’s a coincidence. And here’s another hint: from the look of some of the latest candids of her floating around the net, this starlet enjoys shaving her bikini area with a rusty steak knife. Or possibly a cheese grater, or a porcupine. And she was seen at a burlesque show at Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce bar Wednesday night, wearing only a bra and a miniskirt.  Like I said, classy. Did you guess yet?

The big reveal and lots more pics after the jump.

P.S. I didn’t know it was possible to have back-of-the-knee cottage cheese. Jesus Christ Almighty, you’d think with a pair elephantine tree trunks like those she’d have the good sense to wear pants. Or a burqa. Or kill herself.

It’s Britney Spears! Or “Dimples McCheese,” as I’ll be referring to her from now on.

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21 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. And I don’t even like cottage cheese!

  2. abby

    Yeeeah… “Lumpy Sludge” would also make a good nickname for our little pop princess, wouldn’t it, Wally?

  3. Too bad Lumpy Sludge© has been copyrighted by me! :)

  4. wtf is wrong with her? I mean seriously man,how does anyone look in the mirror dressed like that knowing that papparazzi are gonna be snapping ya and still leave their house? How does that happen?

    http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

  5. abby

    At least she tried to cover up her snatch while exiting the car.

  6. Wow, what a pig. Does she think anyone wants to see that shit? Go to the gym instead of the bar and try and lose that disgusting body. Secondly fire your stylist Stevie Wonder.

  7. abby

    Stevie Wonder — LOL!

  8. I’d like to see her in a trashbag, that’s hot……………

  9. abby

    Or cut into tiny pieces and stuffed into a suitcase left on the side of the interstate.

  10. With a sign over her that says “Free Luggage: Cut Up Whore Included”……….

  11. abby

    My sister-in-law is a mortician; she actually had to go on a call to pick up the body of a stripper who’d been hacked into pieces and stuffed in a suitcase left on the side of I-40. She said the smell was UNBELIEVABLE. It was the middle of July in Tennesse, and from the remains they figure the stripper had been rotting in there over three months. The had to i.d. the body from the jewelery. I’m not making any of this up. Morbid, huh?

    That said, Britney Spears’ hamstrings have the texture of Thanksgiving squashes.

  12. oshkoshb'libtardsalad

    I demand more toned thighs from my celebrities. I motion that she be erased from my memory and replaced with a commercial for Baby Phat perfume or Basketball shoes.

  13. abby

    Kimora Lee Simons is evil.

  14. Abby- thanks for the story, that reminds me, time for lunch…………..

  15. AC

    Hey Cottage cheese in normal and she has great legs, HOWEVER, When you do have some cellulite at least cover it up. She’s not as bad as she could be. I suffer from that same affliction no matter how thin I get… so I can sympathize. But… I know what I can and can not get away with.

  16. Tigger

    Did anyone notice what Brit looks like she’s doing for herself in the second picture? Classic!

  17. abby

    Where I’m from they call that “punching the clown.”

  18. tt

    Nice to see this SLUT is taking GOOD care of her kids!!
    This PIG makes me gag!
    T.T.QUICK

  19. Anything Goes

    All the money in the world and she still looks like a cheap slut…
    Class is something that cannot be bought….

    And those legs, eeew…got 2 words for you Britney……personal trainer.

  20. miranda

    she probably had a personal trainer but was to busy with him in the room. thats why her legs are like that

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