The Reason Behind Victoria Beckham Taking It Off
Life-sized cricket Victoria Beckham divulged the reason behind her new short ‘do — so she could better enjoy sex with husband David. The Sun reports:
[Victoria] told how it was Becks’ idea to replace her long mane with a “pob” — a posh bob. And cheeky Posh, 32, revealed it was because her hair was getting in the way of their romps. She giggled: “David prefers my hair short. With hair extensions you can be in the midst of passion and one flies out. We both prefer the new cut for that reason among others!”
The reason behind my new short ‘do is that Skankalicious Watermelon-Flavored Anal Lube is actually flammable. Suffice to say, long hair and flammable lube don’t mix with candles. Or the three-piece orchestra we’d hired to perform in the background for the cameras. You’d think one of those bastard musicians would have helped us out, but no. The violinist even said, “Oh my God, that smell –they’re not paying me enough to touch that.” It’s all on tape, including the harpist puking and using a piccolo to smash open a window, so it’s going to come in handy when I take them to Judge Mathis’ small claims court. There’s something called “A Good Samaritan Law,” people, and I’m pretty sure it translates into “diffusing anal sex gone horribly awry, especially if someone’s on fire.” I’m not a lawyer or anything, but that sounds about right.
23 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Here’s a man that could tap any ass he wants and he opts for a twiggy pig-snouted frowner with orange halves shoved under her breasts. I have to call them breasts, because they were originally too small to be referred to as tits or funbags. I like being scientific when the opportunity arises.
Dec 21st, 2006
abby
She’s a total pig-nose. Also, she looks a lot like this thing here:
http://www.gremlins.com/mark_shears/alien.jpg
Of course, it’s prettier, but not much isn’t…
Dec 21st, 2006
RichPort
I heard ‘Alien’ gave Becks wood… now we know why.
Dec 21st, 2006
BarbadoSlim
God if I had to see this nasty ass constipated cunt one more time I swear I’m gonna put a contract out on her ass..
Is difficult for me to believe she has sex without shitting on herself. In fact ,I bet that’s the reason she always has a sour face, she’s smelling her own shit.
Dec 21st, 2006
abby
Skeletons –they’re so hot right now.
Dec 21st, 2006
m
Gah, she is disgusting! The hair is better short though.
Dec 21st, 2006
Dee Bee
This is old news…
Dec 21st, 2006
sonya
Her damn upper lip angers me so. I would love to grab it with a pair of tongs, stretch it out, and shove a burning hot poker through it.
P.S.
What is it with all these people lately who the best thing they can muster is, “This is old news”? A hot poker to you too.
Dec 21st, 2006
Italian Stallion
I saw this three days ago, WTF……..
Hehehehehehehehehe
Dec 21st, 2006
abby
It’s from today’s fucking issue of The Sun. Take it up with them.
Dec 21st, 2006
oshkoshb'nutsonyatonsils
Maybe if I was British I would care more about this. Wait, no I wouldn’t, because if I was British I would have killed myself a long time ago for being a lame-ass.
Dec 21st, 2006
abby
Are you saying — I… I … No, I… you can’t — you don’t CARE about Victoria Beckham’s twat? *aghast harumph* However, it is current news. Always up-to-date on Posh’s cooch, that’s us.
Dec 21st, 2006
Butch
Finally someone on here who isn’t a hideously overweight monster and whose tits don’t sag to the floor. Keep starving yourself honey. Do you want to eat, or do you want to look hot for Becks? Cause you can’t have both.
Barbado, she doesn’t shit because she doesn’t eat and that’s the way it should be.
Dec 21st, 2006
Italian Stallion
Abby- I was totally making fun of Bee Gee, I figured you would have got that, my bad……………..
Dec 21st, 2006
Italian Stallion
I meant Dee Bee….wait, does it really fucking matter, next time I’ll just say Douche Bag………
Dec 21st, 2006
abby
No, no, Stallion — that was aimed at the douche who posted about that before you did.
Dec 22nd, 2006
petemclochness
Maybe her hair would not fall out if she weren’t anorexic, or if it were her real hair. David Beckham should kick her in the puss as hard as he can.
Dec 22nd, 2006
abby
Oh my god, Pete!!! How’s life on the Big 69?
Dec 22nd, 2006
petemclochness
It is fantastic. 5500 sailors can’t be wrong.
Dec 22nd, 2006
abby
… or could they? I’m so glad to see you here, you sexy beast, you.
Dec 22nd, 2006
FLAIRCORNWALL
WHO ? HAPPY NEW YEAR FELIX NAVIDAD..WHO WAS THEE HAIR DRESSER.SOME ONE NAMED GEORGE ?? LUV FROM CORNWALL ONTARIO CANADA..DRIVE SAFE / CONDUISEZ PRUDEMMENT TOUT LE MONDE …BUCKLE UP 20X07 NEW YEARS RESOLUTION…MORE PIX OF HOT LADIES TO KEEP US WARM IN WINTER 20X07 .,,,,BIERE / BEER TIME CIAO
Dec 23rd, 2006
Mary
victoria beckam is the most irritating bird I have ever come across. God help David being married to her! I have seen more flesh on a crow!!!! You just have not got what it takes Victoria. No Class
Apr 7th, 2007
DarkWolf
I am sure now why had rebecca for the banning
it doesn’t hurt so much when you have no bones pooking on yur d*ck XD
VIVA LA DUTCH BABES :p
Apr 9th, 2007
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