Jessica Biel in a Bikini
So I really feel awful about bailing on you guys over Christmas. I totally bought “The Best of Stevie Ray Vaughn” to give you, and I meant to wrap it and everything, but then I did a bunch of bong hits Saturday night and my Escort’s FM tuner doesn’t work anymore, and… look, I was desperate, okay? Otherwise, I’d have had to ruin a perfectly good holiday buzz with Irish riverdancing songs on NPR. What? Well, no, I didn’t actually “buy” the CD. I might have “borrowed” it from a Winnebago broken down in the 7-11 parking lot. It’s the thought that counts, right? Jerks. Anyway, I couldn’t exactly wrap this, but here you go: Jessica Biel in a bikini. Merry fucking Christmas. Now, where’s my present?
More of my gift to you after the jump.
Photo credit: Splash News
23 Comments, Comment or Ping
Walrus Gumboot
That’s a nice dumper!
Dec 27th, 2006
halfofalmost
She looks great!
Dec 27th, 2006
abby
It’s like our asses are twins or something.
Dec 27th, 2006
Walrus Gumboot
Abby, I agree with that twins thing… your ass is built for spanking!
Dec 27th, 2006
Dragulf
Abby, your present is right here. Open the box lid for your present!
Dec 27th, 2006
Italian Stallion
Haha Dragulf…….
1. Cut a hole in a box…..
2. Put your junk in that box……
3. Make her open the box……….
She does have a great turd cutter………..
Dec 27th, 2006
Italian Stallion
In the last picture, she was getting ready for me to give her the sausage. I had to sneak up from behind though, she likes it to be a surprise……….
Dec 27th, 2006
Brian
I like when chicks work out, only to a certain point like Jessica, but still shes on fire man.
Its a dick in a box! A dick ina box little girl!
Dec 27th, 2006
TinMan
Nice ass.
Dec 27th, 2006
Butch
I see a slight dimple on the left cheek, and what looks like the very start of cottage cheese on the right cheek. There’s just that little bit of shading right below the right butt cheek that looks like the beginning of the end for this broad. Her top is cutting into her back fat and from the front there’s a demarcation where you can see inner-thigh jiggle. Her stomach is pretty good. She could drop about five pounds and be tighter.
Dec 27th, 2006
carrie
Butch, can’t imagine what you must look like! LOL! Just smile and be happy for the bitch. Cutting her down just makes you look bad.
Dec 27th, 2006
Chris
Butch,
You are what is wrong with the world today. Seriously.
Best Wishes,
Chris
Dec 27th, 2006
nrrvus
pretty f#%*king hot I would say, the only fat on her would be me, repeatedly.
Dec 27th, 2006
nrrvus
Thanks Abby
Dec 27th, 2006
Claude
She still looks like a dyke. I say she likes tacos better than hot dogs. Captain Jeter is on to the next chapter. This time maybe a chick that crotch isn’t bigger than his.
Jessica Biel passes gas. From TV Guide
3:50 The session begins, and young Mackenzie Rosman says she has a vague memory of her first years on 7th Heaven. “I remember Jessica [Biel] had really bad gas.” That comment elicits laughter from the cast, not to mention a jovial fist-pump from costar George Stults — all but confirming buzz that Biel is no longer welcome in Heaven.
3:56 Mmmm… Vicodin.
Dec 27th, 2006
hmmmmm
yeah.
she looks gross and man-ish.
Dec 28th, 2006
aim
i think she’d be perfect if she de-manned her arms a little.
Dec 28th, 2006
Butch
Sorry, I just have no tolerance for people who aren’t perfect.
Dec 28th, 2006
Mexinugget
Poor, Butch. It must be so hard to be perfection. I’m totally convinced you are not a lonely-overweight-still lives at mom’s house-part time Blockbuster employee who just works there to get free video games-no social skills to speak of-loser. You speak the truth Butch. Just looking at that fatso in her bikini makes me want to puke, too.
Dec 31st, 2006
dd
Butch, MOST girls have cellulite. Doesn’t matter if you’re rail-thin, or overweight. If you have it, you have it. Regardless of whether she has a little, she’s still got a hot body.
By all means, let’s see YOUR pictures, Mr. Perfection.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Joseph
Jessica Biel is My favorite actress and she look beauitful in that picture and azaming actress.who else beside me think Jessica Biel is very a pretty woman?
Jan 16th, 2007
Col.Terdberger
Wellll…ahem I wouldn’t mind having her lower herself on the mightiest part of my being …my veritable roman pillar of manhood until the squeezing provecation of her sliding sin cylinder ignited my passion piston….oooooo great jizzums of zeus
Feb 25th, 2007
Sonny
Jessica you are a goddess to me and have admired your looks.
Butch you are a complete mess and a looser .
Mar 1st, 2007
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