Catherine Zeta-Jones Gets New Bosoms
Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones enjoyed a seaside holiday with old-ass husband Michael Douglas last week. Word on the street is that our Ms. Jones got some new bosoms for Christmas. And by “word on the street” I mean “something I pretty much made up but am, like, 80% sure is true.” And if it’s true, well, then, those are some of the sorriest fake tits I’ve ever seen. It’s like they’re both trying to escape — one heads west for the armpit while the other goes the way of the bellybutton. You know, opposite directions to confuse the captor. The much ballyhooed but rarely-ever-witnessed booby strategy. That said, it’s pretty fucking easy to fool a string bikini. Everybody knows they’re the dumbest bathing suits of all.
More confounding boobery after the jump.
44 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
She is an example of plastic surgery success. That or the next Mariah Carey.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
I like the touch of class the cigarette gives that header shot.
Jan 2nd, 2007
RichPort
I say if she doesn’t do a Jolie and go topless in every movie going forward, what’s the fucking point? Her grandpa, er, um, I mean hubby takes Cialis by the fistful, so the boobage can’t be for him.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
I hear that geezers like boobs. They also like bingo and laxatives, but boobies are their favorite. True story.
Jan 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Not looking too hot there Mrs Douglas, a little pasty little flabby little saggy=mucho fugo and mucho ruffo.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Ah, you speak Spanish, Barbado. Vikings are so multi-cultural these days.
Jan 2nd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
hehehehe you’d be amazed how much easier it becomes to pillage when you have a deeper understanding of other cultures.
it also helps with the raping
Jan 2nd, 2007
Arch
Hell of a write-off.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
Did she get a carton of Lucky Strikes for Christmas too?
Jan 2nd, 2007
Zanna
Whoa…check out her knees in that head shot with the cigarette. It causes me to furrow my brow.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
Now “getaway sticks” makes perfect sense to me! Keen eye on you, Zanna.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Wally Gumboot
I’m sorry… “getaway sticks”© is copyrighted.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Sasha
Those aren’t fake, they’re mommy boobies. Perfectly understandable, if you are not the shallow, callous type.
Jan 2nd, 2007
abby
I have mommy boobies, and those are NOT mommy boobies. I am also shallow and callous, so… catch-22.
Jan 2nd, 2007
destroyeroffops
You idoit shallow breeder fops wouldn’t know a real boob if it knocked out your eyetooth. maybe one day you’ll make enough to buy youself a clue.
Jan 2nd, 2007
kat
She is NOT looking so hot…I guess when you marry the OL’ MAn for money, you can afford to let yourself go! I am OFF to do my laps now (swimming). Ta ta…LOL!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Vinhaggan
To destroyeroffops: Couldnt agree with you more
I think she is beutiful and very
natural here! In sweden we call here a “Zorn-women”
(if i spell bad, dont tell me ok?, if you do.. i´ll ask you about how YOU spell in swedish)
Jan 2nd, 2007
Aetac
OK guys, she isn’t 20 years old anymore, but she is still nice to look at;) The
A - http://blog.ateava.com/
Jan 2nd, 2007
killu
honestly i think she looks like nothing in these pictures but she was cute a few years ago
Jan 2nd, 2007
therealdonquixote
I’m pretty sure those are real. If you look at the second picture, which is more of a side view, her nipple line is on point (from an anatomy POV) and the curve from under the breast is spot on for a natural breast too.
It’s either the best fake job or a nice set of teets, wither way I like em.
Did I mention that I likes teh b00bies!!!
Jan 2nd, 2007
Sonya
I think “Zorn-women” is Swedish for, “floppy tata’d woman thanks to Old Man Michael suckling like a 90-year old bird with a wrinkly neck”.
Jan 2nd, 2007
Some-1-U-Know
MILF ALERT……………MILF ALERT…………..
Jan 2nd, 2007
david10006
never was anything really special..even back in the day when she was “hot”
Jan 3rd, 2007
A Concerned Fan
I think she just got fat.
Jan 3rd, 2007
serenegab
The “boobies” are not real or from giving birth, they are just the latest in a long line of surgeries. Check out pictures of her from the eighties til now, side by side, and you can see the many changes. I think she’s actually well into her forties despite her PR and it will show no matter how much surgery is done. Good call on the knees; I wonder if she has also had them “done” as I hear this is the latest (Demi) along with neck wattle correction.
Jan 3rd, 2007
marion
she’s looking so old!!
Jan 3rd, 2007
Sanna
Vinhaggan: who cares if you’re a Swede!
Här i Finland vi borde kalla henne Katariina Seppo-Joonas for sure.
Jan 3rd, 2007
mimosa
I think she looks hot for having two kids and an aging hubby.
Jan 3rd, 2007
kate
it is so obvious that she has NOT had a boob job! this is how natural breasts look like. one would think that you’ve seen plenty of silicones around hollywood to make the difference.
Jan 3rd, 2007
Sanna
BTW, I think she has the prettiest nose!
Jan 4th, 2007
mimi
No plastic surgeon in the world would place implants that far apart and low on the chest. Those tatas are real, or at the very least, haven’t been operated on in a while. The tell tales signs (cavernous, hard line in the midline of the chest, the perfectly round lumps perched above the saggier tissue, the awkward and misaligned nipples) aren’t there.
As for the way the tatas are ‘headed’- a mom in her forties who doesn’t have a titty making it’s way south or off to the side is hard to find. When a woman built like her lays down (on the back), the tissue naturally sinks lower and usually heads to the underarm area. After forty years of sleeping nightly, the tissue doesn’t just swing back in place like it used to- the muscles just aren’t strong enough to push the tatas back to the front and up and perky. The tissue settles in the cavity formed by the lax muscle; it’s not uncommon for a woman to even need a smaller cup bra because of the redistribution of tissue.
No frickin way did she get new implants less than two weeks ago. No Way At All.
Jan 4th, 2007
Abi
Awesome, man
Feb 3rd, 2007
girlgg
good boobs
Feb 26th, 2007
katelyn
All I know is ,she married him for money [him being the old geezer] she only attractive when shes done up like a dogs dinner . yuk she smokes , well thats going to turn her face into a map. OH musnt forget she cant act worth a crap and everyone in the UK thinks shes an appalling snob since she married michael “whats his face”. Now did I cover everything? No, one more thing why is she wearing that awful cheap bikini .
Mar 8th, 2007
toogsh
I don’t know what most of you guys are talking about. Those boobs look real to me. I think I’ve seen a lot of women with fake boobs enough to be able to identify real from fake.
Mar 31st, 2007
alex
hi nice site.
Apr 13th, 2007
robert
hi all.
Jun 14th, 2007
Taquito
If everyone in the UK thinks she’s an appaling snob because of who she married, then everyone in the UK is seriously pathetic. Her acting is fine, you couldn’t do better than her if the planet depended on it. As for the cheap bikini, who cares? It just shows she’s not apt to spend a lot of money on wasteful items like that.
Aug 11th, 2007
Taquito
As for the boobs, they’re definitely real. My mom has a set that looks just like those. So what if she doesn’t look like she’s 20 anymore? Even the best of modern medicine can’t keep u looking the same the rest of your life.
Aug 11th, 2007
karishma
taquito: i agree wid u……..lets nt bother how her bosoms look…….she had been beautiful throughout……her hair n her smile….are amazing…..atleast for the time she aint bothered about her unimportant bikini suit. if nobody is born with a beautiful heart in hollywood, thn catherine’s done a good job by marrying douglas…..atleast he is rich n famous to match wid…….
Nov 13th, 2007
johnny
I think C Z-J has a fabulous figure. I’m no geezer AND I LOVE A GOOD BOSOM. I dont believe her bosoms are fake.
Nov 14th, 2007
Janet Brevity
I am perplexed by the knees.
Feb 6th, 2008
january presley
plain old Catherine Jones is such a snob, disliked in England, hence her social climbing move to old man Douglas. She’s always had saggy boobs-look when she was going out with John Leslie from Blue Peter TV show! Thighs and knees are awful like her acting. Eyes have been made bigger a few years ago. Grow old gracefully that way you may meet your husbands age somewhere in the middle.
Feb 29th, 2008
Grobianus
She looks drunk out of her skull in that first shot.
Apr 21st, 2008
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