The Best Dressed at the Oscars
I waited a full 24 hours before posting the winners of Yeeeah’s Best Dressed at the Oscars because I was actually drunk and then passed out for most of the awards show Sunday night. It’s a fact that you don’t have to be sober to know if somebody’s dress is ugly, so the Yeeeah’s Worst Dressed went up yesterday without a second thought. But determining the creme de la creme is a more deliberate process. So many things have to be considered — hair, makeup, dress color and fabric — it has to all be seamless to secure the distinguished honor of my approval. Or it has to show nipples. One or the other. I have unflinching standards, just like Anna Wintour or Larry Flynt.
The reigning queen of the 2007 Academy Awards was undoubtedly Reese Witherspoon. The fit of her dress is immaculate, and the color really accentuates her eyes. Love the stick-straight hair and the new bangs. Just fabulous. If I were a gay man, I’d be snapping my fingers all over the place and prissing “You go, girlfriend” between sips of my mandarin mango margarita. But I’m a straight woman, so I’m just going to go with “well-done, Reese.”
The rest of the best after the jump.
Rachel Weisz look sophisticated in a strapless satin dress, and managed to avoid looking like a cadaver in second stage post-mortem bloat despite the super-dark lips. Kirsten Dunst, not so lucky.
Cate Blanchett is not what I’d describe as beautiful, but she’s distinctive, which counts for something in the land of the cookie cutter plastic. Plus, she’s in great shape. I could do without the ruching on the shoulder, but the dress is still a hit.
Jessica Biel made this list despite her hideous Millard Filmore-esque hair thanks to her visible pokies. I like the bright color, and I like the nipples, but dear God that hair. I bet it smells like Fixodent and Aspercreme and Monday night bingo.
Penelope Cruz looks like some kind of swan ballerina princess fairy in that gown. I’m glad that she kept the hair simple, because the dress teeters on the cusp of “gorgeous” and “garishly over the top” all at once. She swung it the right way, though, and she looks beautiful. On the verge of molting, yes, but still beautiful.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
LadyJane
Unlike some other twits who shall remain nameless, Rachel Weiz actually has the right coloring for that lipstick.
Feb 27th, 2007
sonya
I love Reese’s dress, but the coloring and the ruffles at the bottom remind me of the sea slugs you see in the “touch pools” at aquariums. Weird, I know, but that’s what it makes me think of.
Feb 27th, 2007
spatz
reeses chin is getting dangerously pointy. she could afford to gain 10 pounds to soften up, but i agree, she did look the best of the night.
Feb 27th, 2007
Tine
I thought Sally Kirkland looked the best. Plus she arrived on a unicorn.
Feb 27th, 2007
Girlygrrl
Don’t you think Reese has shown up to at LEAST three events with the same hair, makeup and dress…? Except she went a bit longer for the Oscars. I like Reese, I’d like to see her be a bit more daring next time.
Feb 27th, 2007
TT.Quick
OH YES….Reese looked like a living “SEXY” Angel! I just loved her look! Perfect smile, Perfect face, Perfect boobs! She was the best dressed AND best LOOKING! REESE…I LOVE YOU…I only hope and pray that when I die…ALL the Angels in Heaven look like you!
with love…T.T.Quick
Feb 27th, 2007
Be Adequite!
Not feeling the champagne/nude colors…blah and bland…and I’ll go there: Rachel Weisz is too curvy to wear that clingy satin…
And I won’t agree with Biel- beautiful dress but that damn tacky BELT has gotta go!
Has anyone seen pics of Uma Thurman (if she even attended?) her outfits are always at least interesting, never boring like some of the prom-ish ones from this year.
Reese rocks all around! Suck on that Ryan Phillipe! MORON.
Feb 27th, 2007
sonya
Actually, Rachel Weisz’s was my favorite dress. I had written a post lavishing my love upon it, and it included spreading Rachel and her buttery smooth satin on a crumpet and eating it, but then the website screwed up and lost my comment. I think she looks amazing, was the gist of it.
Feb 27th, 2007
abby
I distinctly remember two of Uma Thurman’s Oscar dresses sucking balls.
Feb 27th, 2007
bionic bunny
is it just me, or is anyone else getting just a little bit tired of beil’s butt? it just seems to me like she’s posing. unless she has a type of scoliosis, it just isn’t normal to me. like she’s wearing an old fashioned bustle.
just a pet peeve of mine.
Feb 27th, 2007
Italian Stallion
She looked hot as hell, Ryan is a dumbass, although she did lose the weight after…………
Feb 27th, 2007
mickey
Couldn’t agree more about Jessica Biel’s hair. I don’t see how she could leave the house with that hair. It ages her so much. The bold color of the dress is nice and I like the belt because with a color that strong it needs the black belt to keep the color from becoming overpowering. It saddens me though that she wore that hairstyle. If she had simply pulled her hair back into i nice pony tail or bun it would have worked so much better, but that granny style is almost criminal. She needs to fire her hair person STAT.
Feb 28th, 2007
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