Reese Witherspoon in Harper’s Bazaar
I was minding my own business, watching the comedy stylings of Bruce Vilanch and cross-stitching a sampler, when out of nowhere a man with a camera crashed through my bedroom window and broke his collarbone. At least that’s the story I’m sticking to, because his camera was destroyed in the fall, and if there aren’t any pictures there isn’t any proof otherwise. I also broke the guy’s kneecap, just to make sure he was down for the count. And once I realized the guy was Ryan Phillippe, I broke the other kneecap as punishment for his cheating on his wife. I know it was him, too, because he smelled like “failure” and “regret” and had highlights. Plus, he kept quoting “Cruel Intentions.” Until I ball-gagged him and made sure he couldn’t move, that is. Then I made him look at these hot pictures of Reese from the April issue of Harper’s Bazaar and forced him to watch the rest of that Bruce Vilanch tape. I’m sure you already guessed that he cried like the back-stabbing puss that he is.
14 Comments, Comment or Ping
Zell
She looks amazing! I’ve always been a Reese fan. I even own ‘Freeway’ on DVD.
You should have shoved bamboo shoots up his finger nails too.
Mar 20th, 2007
ali
amen! i love reese!
Mar 20th, 2007
sonya
“cross-stitching a sampler”
BWAH-HAH-HAH!
Mar 20th, 2007
Showgrrrl
Reese is a pretty gal and all… but that CHIN! Dear God! You’d think the editors woulda skipped out on that last photo… it’s all about the chin in that angle!
I actually have a dog named Chin. I named her that because when I first saw her, she was the ugliest puppy in the world, and she’s all black, except for her under-bite WHITE hairy CHIN. (She’s a Chihuahua Pug (yes, I like to call her a ‘Chug’) - you do the math) And I felt sorry for her, that nobody else would love her, so I took her home. It’s kinda like the Austin Power’s MOLE thing. CHINNY CHINNY CHINN!!!
And that’s how I feel about Reese.
Mar 20th, 2007
UgliestGuy
Chin? What chin? I can see a peninsula, what chin?
Mar 20th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
She has an old-woman’s head
Mar 21st, 2007
leash
Holy shit they should have photoshopped and reduced her chin in the last pic…it’s like a surfboard!
Mar 21st, 2007
ali
i think her chin is cute..it adds character! she’s still freakin pretty
Mar 21st, 2007
Tine
That “Winner Winner Winner” ad above the comments is soooo annoying - I know it pays the bills but c’mon…
Mar 21st, 2007
Butch
I think her chin is part of her appeal. She’s just…I don’t know very pure or something. Bukaki.
Mar 21st, 2007
trilbynhiss
Her chin wasn’t quite as prominent before her apparent weight loss, but she’s still very pretty. Love the dresses she gets to wear here!
Mar 21st, 2007
shut the f*#k up already
I agree that her chin makes her who she is. Without it she’ll look weird(not really).She’s very pretty.
Mar 29th, 2008
aimee
Jealous Losers! shes a millionaire and gorgeous! nobodies perfect. bet she would pick her chin over your sad lives any day!
Jun 2nd, 2008
Tommie T
Obviously the Carradines know their provenance. What do they think?
Jun 13th, 2008
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