George Clooney Didn’t Do It

Notorious prankster George Clooney swears he isn’t the one behind the leak of the “I Hear Huckabees” expletive-laden showdown between actress Lily Tomlin and director David O. Russell. TMZ reports:

In a statement to various media outlets, Clooney said, “Contrary to popular opinion, neither the sound man nor yours truly sent in the [I Heart Huckabees] tape. Any rumor that either of us put it on the Internet is simply false. And I’d offer a million bucks to anyone who would prove otherwise.Your fan, George Clooney”

I’d like to offer a million bucks to anybody who can prove that I was the one that set fire to the aviary section of the Botanical Gardens in the unfortunate “gravity-bong-lighter-fluid-east-winds-up-to-twenty-knots” incident last month. And, for the record, I was never really that into “eyebrows.” Or “eyelashes.” Or “epidermises.” That’s why I don’t really have of those on my face anymore. Not because I was horribly burned in a freak accident. Good luck proving otherwise, sucka!

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3 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Osbourne Black

    Lily Tomlin is a God in my country.

  2. abby

    Lily Tomlin once shoved me and my brother in an oven and stole all our bread crumbs. True story.

  3. LadyJane

    THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

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