Paris Hilton Gets Off Easy
In an effort to make Paris Hilton’s jail time as meaningless as possible, L.A. authorities have hand-selected a non-violent offender to be her cell mate and issued a stringent list of instructions regarding her treatment. TMZ says:
Jailers were looking for someone who they believe will not try to cash in on Hilton’s stay… [and] are already conducting searches of anything electronic — they are prohibiting cameras, cellphones and the like. A memo has gone out to the staff, warning them that anyone who takes pictures of Paris will be disciplined — i.e., fired. A “written protocol” has already been prepared especially for Paris’ stay, detailing “when and how things should be done for her.”
Things like “duration of each ass kiss” and “how much nose-to-crack ratio is preferable,” I guess. Christ. That doesn’t sound anything like the female incarceration documentaries I watched last week. Nobody held the hand of Maria de Guerra in “Frauengefängnis.” They did unbridle her insatiable lust, though. And what about the girls in “Caged Heat?” The didn’t have any big fancy lawyers to get them out of jail in half the time. All they had were their “white-hot desires melting cold prison steel.”
More of Paris Hilton en route to a recording studio after the jump
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Osbourne Black
And shall we not forget Linda Blair and that little incident with the broom handle?
May 31st, 2007
BRIAN
There is no protocal saying that i cant jam my P in her V
May 31st, 2007
bionic bunny
ob- you’re slipping. what about the fact that her hoodie says “free love”?
May 31st, 2007
Dat_DoOd
ugh, I’m so sick of this skank.
May 31st, 2007
Osbourne Black
Miss Bunny - The emblazoned hoodie was to easy. I went more for the hard knock approach.
May 31st, 2007
overrated whores r bores
That guy in the background in the first pic is priceless, I don’t think he thinks much of this fugly, vapid waste of space…
Is the ugly bitch doing promo for Apple and what’s with the feel sorry for me pics…when will she ever just vanish.
May 31st, 2007
Showgrrrl
I think carrying the MacBook along with a fucking CALCULATOR is a little bit of overkill. First, she was carrying around books (including the bloody BIBLE!). Next we see her painting goddamn ceramics! Does she think the world REALLY believes in learning via osmosis?
Sure, I’m the first to admit that image is everything. But honey, it’s just too late.
May 31st, 2007
bionic bunny
i hear my apple stock crying.
dear god, make her stop!!!
hmmm. i seem to have lost an earlier post. i made a comment close to the one i just made, and
noted that i KNEW somebody would bring up the broom handle!
speaking of broom handles, how do you suppose the quidditch players initiate the new players??
Jun 1st, 2007
ummmmmmmmm...?
It’s spoiled, rich, snobbish, skank’s, like this ho, that make America f*cked up sometimes.
Jun 1st, 2007
Samuella
When I first saw the title “Paris Hilton Get’s Off Easy”, all I could think of was ‘any of her boyfriends could tell you that! Or her sister. Or Nicole Richie. Or 1/3 people you pull of the street.”
Jun 3rd, 2007
jayjay
Shut up all y’all haters,she got MONEY and lives in AMERICA.Did you really think she was gonna spend 23days in the big house?Don’t blame paris,she doesn’t make laws.
Jun 7th, 2007
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