Lindsay Lohan’s Bodyguard Tells All
Former Lindsay Lohan bodyguard Lee Weaver is writing a tell-all book about his former employer and blabbing about her being a slutty cokehead cutter to anyone who’ll listen. He tells News of the World:
“My first job was to take her to a party in Beverly Hills. As soon as [we] walked into the party she was snorting more [cocaine]. She got on the coffee table and danced, flinging her dress above her head, her eyes rolling about all over the place. I told the guy providing the drugs to stop and he just said, ‘No way, Lindsay will go berserk’. Then she started screaming at people and swinging her fists around at anyone near her. At the start of the night she seemed such a fun-loving, angelic girl but under the influence of drugs she was psychotic. It was 10.30am the next day by the time I carried her to bed.”
“In April she asked me to take her to her dealer in Beverly Hills. Suddenly she started screaming and punching him for selling her short. He pulled a gun. I got out and he threatened to shoot me unless I got her to back off — but she kept hitting him. I dragged Lindsay into the car and drove off but she was screaming at me to go back. I knew then she was just too dangerous to be around.”
And when she wasn’t snorting herself retarded or kicking coke dealers’ asses, she was on the prowl for kitty.
“She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills,” says Lee. “I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs. I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey’s bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French-kissing a girl.”
Don’t forget the cutting!
“One night I looked at her hands and wrists and noticed they had bright red wounds all over them,” says Lee. “She tried to tell me she had fallen but when I looked her in the eyes and demanded to know the truth she just broke down. She told me, ‘I don’t belong on this planet any more’. She said she cut herself because she did not think life was worth living.”
How utterly shocking. Lindsay Lohan, unscrupulous coke whore with suicidal tendencies? Surely you jest. Next, you’ll try to tell me that the Pope isn’t Catholic and that midgets don’t steal from big people every fucking chance they get. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck yesterday, you know! It was actually a hay baler and it happened a whole month ago. You might have read about it in the paper. “Drunk Hijacks Farm Equipment from 4-H Fair, Injures Self and Several Little People.” Not to brag, but it also made the local news in Poughkeepsie.
More of Lindsay Lohan at Promises after the jump
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
I’d like to shit on her face.
My bad, was that crass? It just seems like the only thing she has yet to do.
Jun 11th, 2007
Manny
You could probably drink her bathwater and blow a 2.0 on a breathalyzer.
Jun 11th, 2007
bionic bunny
what the hell is she wearing?
Jun 11th, 2007
beerdotcom182
No kidding BB. I don’t see snatch or boob hanging out anywhere’s. She is truely cured.
Jun 11th, 2007
Stephanie
LL was kool when she was way younger! I have a question how come she isn’t in jail for doing drugs???? Paris is in jail for a DUI!!!!!!!!!! How come shes not for Coke?????????
Jun 12th, 2007
Tori
man this bodyguard is just trying to cash in on her fame like all out of work bodyguards. shame on him.
Jun 12th, 2007
Tori
by the way, id fuck her
Jun 12th, 2007
Sandra
You know, you guys have a lot of shit to say about this girl, but how do you even know any of this is factual? Every one wants fame, even if they dont admit it, we all envy famous people in a way, so how do you know that this “bodyguard” guy isnt just bullshiting you all just to be on this website? There are no pictures here to prove it, theres nothing but hes “honest” word.
Jun 12th, 2007
RichPort
Hes honeest word ees all we have…
Jun 12th, 2007
d. c.
She’ll take more than months to cure.. She’ll need years and have to move from the hellish place that supplies her all the addictive treats she needs to kill herself.
Jun 13th, 2007
fuck this
you’re humor is truly terrible. its like a direct bite off of dlisted.com’s sharp, cutting opinion but just annoying and whiny. shut the fuck up. this blog is so lame.
Jun 13th, 2007
Larry
so, lindsay is a lesbo? that’s pretty sweet! I wonder what creative things she uses to masterbate with? I would so donky punch that bitch, followed by a cherry pie, then finishing off with a bearded lady!
Jun 13th, 2007
Syd
I don’t really care if it’s true or not. I’m way more entertained by this than any of her (so called) acting jobs.
And “fuck this” needs to take a hormone pill and go home.
Jun 13th, 2007
ImAnerd
You all are virgin nerds
Jun 13th, 2007
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Jun 14th, 2007
Who Cares
Rich or Poor. A skank is a skank
Jun 15th, 2007
I Had Her
Whatever dude - face reality, child stars are always a wreck. I feel sorry for her - all that potential and she blowing it. I volunteer to wear that little ass of hers out! Then, i’d probably leave.
Who am I kidding - I just want to fuck her! Stupid bitch.
Jun 20th, 2007
farse
what an anal whore lohan is
Jul 2nd, 2007
firecrotch
lindsay lohan’s vagina will burn your penis to a crisp
Jul 15th, 2007
Love Linds
leave her alone! i love lindsay!! ill do fat fuckin rails with her any day!
Aug 1st, 2007
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