Jun 21, 2007
Ashlee Simpson Looks Like Crap
Tags: Ashlee Simpson
Fraggle-faced Simpson sister Ashlee Simpson allegedly spent eight hours in Ken Paves Salon on Tuesday doing God knows what, because she’s sporting some of the saddest, most raggedy-ass extensions I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t imagine how her natural hair could look possibly worse than this, because right now? She could glue a couple of dead Lhasa Apsos onto her head and it would be a huge improvement. I’m sure even PETA couldn’t argue with that.
More photos after the jump, none of which feature Ashlee not making some horribly contorted face. Your guess is as good as mine, folks.
56 Comments, Comment or Ping
HOney
The only thing I can say is………THANK GOD FOR GOOD MAKEUP AND HAIR STYLISTS THAT CAN HELP PULL IT ALL TOGETHER.
Jun 21st, 2007
hello kitty
she doesn’t look that bad..you fucking hater
Jun 21st, 2007
in the atx
jealous??? she’s cute and quit being a bitch!
Jun 21st, 2007
Sorceressss
Oh lighten the fuck up kitty. We’re all haters, that’s why we come to this site, go somewhere else if you can’t understand the humour.
Later Bitches!!!
Jun 21st, 2007
RichPort
Hi Kitty! Ashley with 2 “e”s is a vapid talentless over partying Dad fucker. That’s right, no need for commas there bucko, she’s someone who’s gone waaaaaaaaaay past her 15 minutes. Her career jumped the shark after that SNL debacle, and the fake nose doesn’t help. All she is is a pair of nice tits, and an unfortunate feeling of self worth. In short, teabag my nuts. They look like fucking kiwis…
Jun 21st, 2007
MissusBee
My word, even after all the surgery, she still has that SIMPSON look. Eeek!
Jun 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Hater? Listen girls — I am the meanest fucking bitch on the internet. If you don’t like it, you can go suck my ass.
Jun 21st, 2007
HaHa
I think she kinda looks like Britney in the face.
Jun 21st, 2007
mr. happy ass
um, her hair is WET. and, those are foils in her hair where she’s getting her highlight on. i hate that bitch but leave her alone. some things are sacred.
Jun 21st, 2007
whatever
She is a DOG. She had her whole face sanded off and recreated. That’s disgusting.
Jun 21st, 2007
Syd
I think she’s kinda cute. Talentless, but cute.
However, I fully encourage you to keep on hatin’.
Jun 21st, 2007
E
Okay you have to be blind to not see that she is getting her roots done. Hello???? Do they even make extensions that look wet? Also she is cute and at least she does SOMETHING and isn’t wasting her life on drugs!!! Yes you are a HATER and JEALOUS b/c she’s cuter than you and your girl!
Jun 21st, 2007
perty mokey
Come on, she is cute. Not beautiful, but def. not ugly. But to say that she doesn’t do drugs, please. What a joke. She is just a functioning drug user. You know, only occasionally, to party or what not. And yes I am a hater, and proud of it.
Jun 21st, 2007
Dragulf
Nice ass Litely. All clean and shiney.
Jun 21st, 2007
AW!
Those really are “before” pictures, right? Either that, or Ken Paves used too much Crisco on her. She’s going downhill fast, isn’t she?
Jun 21st, 2007
katsy
hahahaaaaa.
Jun 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Rowr, Dragulf.
I fucking love how mentioning one of these fucktard posers like Avril or Ashlee brings all the mouth-breathers out of the woodwork. Keep it up guys, all your hate is paying for the new wing on my mansion!
Jun 21st, 2007
E
One more thing it is soooo annoying that none of you gossip bloggers even know what your talking about, or you just do it for the attention and your “wing”. Those are NOT extensions! Maybe she is a functioning drug user but if you had all that money and options wouldn’t you. At least she handles herslef well.
Jun 21st, 2007
sonya
Who’s herslef and why does he/she allow him/herself to be handled by Ashlee?
P.S.
Whoever coined the word “haters” needs to be shot, pronto.
Jun 21st, 2007
Hugh
Fugly!
Jun 21st, 2007
RichPort
Yea E, but you know exactly what you’re talking about, huh? She doesn’t handle herself well, she gets drunk at MTV New Year’s eve bashes (while underage), has more studio work than Paris, gets nose jobs and breast work, is ‘punk then isn’t then is, throws her band mates under the bus (can you imagine trying to use THAT as a pick up line… yea baby, I play bass in Ashlee Simpson’s “band”…), dances in a less than sober rage on McDonald’s counters and still gets less airplay “Joey”. If I had the money and options “E”, I would run around paying people to clip celeb hugging douches like you on the back of the head.
Now we just need to find the othe 11,999 people who bought her last album and make them cry too…
Jun 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Nicely put, Richport!
And furthermore: Uhhh… Of course we do it for the money and the attention. Do you think we do it because we enjoy sitting around looking at fuggos like Ashlee Simpson all day? You’re not very bright, are you E?
Jun 21st, 2007
RichPort
I bet “E” was the grade he kept getting in school… as the teachers convinced him it was not quite as smart as a D,but smarterer than an F.
LS, I’m here to help.
What happened to B Slim???
Jun 21st, 2007
E
This is the first time I have actually commented on a blog only b/c I don’t think YOU are very bright dumb ass. I shouldn’t have elaborated on her as a person b/c actually I don’t care nor do I own any of her albums. So I take back everything I said about her and her “options”. Oh and sorry I don’t have time to check every spelling error on these stupid comments. My point: I’ve learned my lesson not to comment in these stupid ass blogs or I might get someone who “doesn’t like Ashlee” but knows everything about her call me a douche, or someone who doesn’t know what there talking about (they’re NOT raggedy hair extensions) tell me I’m not bright. So go buy your “wing” and be a dumb ass lightley and good luck finding someone to teabag those kiwis Richport b/c I’m sure you’re real cool. KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE YOU POST! OH YEAH AND GET A LIFE! PEACE!
Jun 21st, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
the girl looks like jessica w/o makeup. she needed to hack off half her nose bc it made her face look beat. If you have the money–do it. she does, and she’s happy now. don’t hate bc you have more cell then a jail.
Jun 21st, 2007
litelysalted
Richport — counter point?
Oh, and I don’t know where Slim is, but I miss his many witticisms. Come back, B-Slim!
Jun 21st, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
litelysalted—you suck. nothing that you say is remotely funny. and you have giant thighs.
get help and some lipo.
faggot
Jun 21st, 2007
E
He needs time to think about that. Oh by the way I’m not a guy and that school comment was gay come up w/ something else.
Jun 21st, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
are you serious? you molested a gerbal again? here’s a tip..it’ll like it more if you use your pinky.
faggot
Jun 21st, 2007
E
It’s funny you need other people to help defend yourself on a stupid ass blog. Who’s the bright one?
Jun 21st, 2007
E
It’s times like these you wish you had a real job, huh? I agree w/ isthatyouface. YOU SUCK!!
Jun 21st, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
… wait hold on..unzip your pants..take a peek..pathetic. just like ur face, body, blog.
faggot.
Jun 21st, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
i work at subway–just made assistant manager . your def still at applebees.
faggot
Jun 21st, 2007
E
Well I think I might comment more. That was fun! Thanks for making me feel so much smarter than I already knew I was!
Jun 21st, 2007
Ferret Herder
Man! I love this place!! I just wanted to add that I hate the Simpson family for fooling people into financing their lifestyles of excess. I hate Ashlee most because she said she would never consider surgery, and before you could say “yeah, riiiiiight”, she had her entire face resculpted so you couldn’t even recognize her. She said this to some teen magazine (I believe) and told girls to embrace their inner beauty or some shit. I just think that girls today have such horrible role models to look up to, and these young people with fame and fortune make looking like drug addicted, anorexic whores cool. I’ll be the first to grill adults, but teens just aren’t there yet. I wish there were more positive role models for me when I was growing up, and the standards have sunk to an all time low. Her children and grandchildren will get to see her sniveling on a MCDonalds counter, and being exposed as the fraud she is on SNL. Ahh, karma indeed is a bitch. PS You don’t have to be a whore to get somewhere in life girls.
Jun 21st, 2007
bionic bunny
ah, litely, you’re official now. you can always tell a fun post by the number of unicorns double-parked at the fantasy twinkle lake.
is tonight a full moon??
Jun 21st, 2007
Sorceressss
Ha ha, you guys that “decided to comment on this blog for the first time” crack me up. Yeah, so we’re petty, petty people that like to comment on the shallow idiots in Hollywood. Well, I guess we’re all going to HELL, but at least I know I’ll be in great company with the likes of Abby, Litely, RichPort and Bionic Buddy.
Suck on it idiots
Jun 21st, 2007
jbo
I hate hater-haters…
Jun 21st, 2007
EIEIOoooooo
What a stringy mess. She must have extremely thin hair…you wet it and all that’s left is 40 strands. Shouldn’t she rogaine that shit or something? She has the money.
Jun 21st, 2007
gwen
“…you wish you had a real job…”?! A real job?! Really? Sorry, but after spending many years as an “ant marching” in traffic to and from my real job (which paid pretty well, too), being watched by all the managers, ass-kissers, and non-thinker conformists in the real world, I’ve just gotta say—keep it up Litely, and good luck on that new wing.
Jun 21st, 2007
jay
she looks hot i would bang her all night long and i’m not an ashley S fan!
she’s so hotter without the make up looking like a whore…..
Jun 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Thanks for the love, guys. I wasn’t even going to bother feeding into it anymore.
“number of unicorns double-parked at the fantasy twinkle lake.” HA!
Ahh, and Gwen I wish this was my only job. I work FT and I also write for another site. (Two, including my own.) But yes I agree, real jobs suck.
Jun 22nd, 2007
HMMM
Idk I think she’s cute and maybe if you got the post right you wouldn’t have to deal with any “unicorns”. You should probably stick to your FT because you really aren’t that funny. The only reason I got here was from Dlisted the best and funniest gossip site EVER. So you should probably thank Michael K. Oh and I’m curious to see the other sites you work on. You must be very bored to work FT and on three websites, too much time on your hands maybe you should use it to try to be funnier and smarter. Real jobs do suck but at least you don’t have people from all over the world telling you how bad you suck on a daily basis and depending on other people you don’t even know to defend your stupidity. That’s lame at least make money off it! MAKE IT WORTH IT!
Jun 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Awwww, E — Does Dlisted love you as much as we do?
Jun 22nd, 2007
RichPort
Hey you id-E-ot… ever heard of IP filters and sitemeter? You’re an asshole.
OK LS, now I really promise to stop.
Jun 22nd, 2007
isthatyourfaceordidyourneckthrowup
i bet you faggots alternate between wacking off to these sites and commenting on them.
blow me bitches!
Jun 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
Hey Anna sweetie, if you’re going to flame a site maybe you shouldn’t use your email address with your first and last name. Wanna keep pushing? Next time I’ll give out the rest.
Jun 22nd, 2007
Lila
In the span of five pictures she’s managed to look like Jessica Simpson in the first, Britney Spears with that stupid confused look on her face in the third, and the olsen twin in the last ones. What ever happened to being original and having more self respect than buying into these cookie-cutter images? it’s so sad everyone’s just trying to look like someone else. Ashlee may not have been drop dead gorgeous, but at least she was unique looking (and I could tell her apart from the other overpaid sorry excuses for human beings)
Jun 22nd, 2007
HAHAHA
What the hell you are stupid! You gotta get the last one so you don’t look stupid to all your readers! Well at least I know I’m better. I’ve been thinking about starting my own site. This may make me really want to do it. Thanks lightly!Hope everything else goes well for you and you don’t have to run into anyone like me anymore. That would suck, huh? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jun 22nd, 2007
litelysalted
I’m deleting your comments because you’re annoying the crap out of everyone, not because I worry about “looking stupid.” But yes — that is a fabulous idea. PLEASE go start your own site. You can call it PatheticTroll.com, and you can write post after post about how me and Richport and all of the Yeeeah readers are totally lame. Would that make you feel better? I’ll even read it, and comment that you’re doing a bang up job. Promise.
Now I have to leave the office, so I’d appreciate not finding 75 flame comments when I arrive home later tonight. But if I do — and I probably will — I’ll delete them. How does that sound?
Jun 22nd, 2007
ha
GREAT!! SMOOCHES!!
Jun 22nd, 2007
Tiffany(REMEMBER DA NAME)
ASHLEE SIMPSON IS A FUCKIN DIKE ALL YAW BTICHES NEEDS TO GO SOMEWHERE CASUE SHE LOOKS A HOT HOT MESS!!stop lying
Jun 23rd, 2007
eaglepupil
Wow! This is like “Mean Girls” live! I’m laughing my ass off and that is hard to do! It is a good thing that we all hide behind fake handles (and whatever else) because you guys might come over and boil a bunny!
Anyway, I just wanted to say that she can never look as bad as before her magical plastic mold transformation into every other celebrity magazine idol! You know the blonde one with the fake tits,small nose and a drinking/sex habit that would exhaust all the catty girls!
Jun 24th, 2007
drea199
True her hair doesn’t look fantastic in those pics, but that’s wet hair not the finished product. Everyone looks like that in a hair salon BEFORE their hair is done. Get the fuck out of here she looks good! As far as the Anna HAHAHA situation, litelysalted you pushed and she pushed back. You can rag on ashlee and everyone else, but no one can rag on you? Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. I didn’t find it to be annoying. I thought it was lol funny that Anna bent you over and gave it to you raw with no vasoline. hahahaha you’re such an assclown!
Jun 27th, 2007
U R FKD DD
I’D DO HER ”AGAIN”, SHE’S TIGHTER THAN LITELY SALTED!!! OHHH BABY!!!!
Jun 30th, 2007
rita thompson
she ain’t no jessica …………………
Jul 30th, 2007
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