We can stop talking about Eva Longoria and her fucking wedding already, because it’s finally over with. Really. People magazine reports

The Desperate Housewives actress and the basketball star married Saturday in front of about 250 guests in a religious ceremony at the historic Church of Saint Germain l’Auxerrois. Longoria wore a couture Angel Sanchez mermaid gown made of silk wool, with silk gazar metallic embroidery, a scoop back and a long train.

Guests [had their] cellphones and cameras sealed in plastic bags before they entered the church. Sheryl Crow, Jessica Alba and Longoria’s Desperate Housewives co-stars Nicollette Sheridan, [Teri Hatcher,] and Felicity Huffman – with husband William H. Macy – were all spotted at the tony Park Hyatt Paris, along with Mario Lopez and Ryan Seacrest.

Woo! I’m sure that was a rip-roarin’ party. Felicity Huffman probably got a little tipsy and embarrassed William H. Macy by wiping out in the middle of the “Glissière Électrique.” And I’m pretty sure Sheryl Crow doesn’t go to a party without camping out in the bathroom to thwart profligate wipers. And of course, there’s always Ryan Seacrest and Mario Lopez whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, and then open-mouth kissing once they remembered no one had camera phones. Pretty awesome stuff. Yeah, I once went to a party that cool, back in ‘87, only it was called “Grandma and Grampa’s Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary” and it was a lot less gay. Probably because it wasn’t in France.

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