Megan Fox is a Freak

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So you think Megan Fox is so freakin’ pretty, do you? The “next Angeline Jolie,” only with gayer tattoos and less emotional baggage? Well, I hope you’re into carnies and freaks and stumpy nubs instead of digits, because Megan Fox has some seriously fucked-up looking thumbs. Maybe there was some kind of soldering accident or maybe a bout with Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome. Whatever the hell it is, it’s hideous. Try maintaining an erection with one of those anomalies up your ass. Damn near impossible, I’d say. And I don’t even have a penis. No, really — I don’t. It’s just a testicle. One testicle. And it’s somewhere in my abdomen so it doesn’t really count. You know, since I don’t really have a scrotum or anything. The doctor just said those were just unusually large labial folds. Yeah. But what about these thumbs, baby? I’ve got the thumbs of an angel! That freak Megan Fox’s got nothin’ on me.

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More of Captain Carnie arriving in London after the jump

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41 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. I always knew I was too good for her.

  2. So her thumb looks like a butt plug. You’re making this sound like it’s a bad thing.

  3. LOLNo Gravatar

    I Like Freaky Chicks!!!! Thing about that thumb is she always has a dildo at the ready…for them lonely nights without me…

  4. Sadly, no one is actually perfect.

  5. Speak for yourself dragulf, I thumb my nose at it all…ouch!

  6. LOL, margaretta — I tried to think of a way to work “thumbing my nose” into the post, but it didn’t work.

  7. IF YOU WANNA SEE THE REST OF MEGAN’S TATTOOS…I SCOUTED ‘EM OUT.

    HERE’S THE LINNK

    http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=7620&tst=10

  8. I’d like to see the rest of Megan.

    That picture of her with her mouth open is HOT!

  9. I have the same set of thumbs - thanks to a great aunt. Once you get over all of the teasing when you’re growing up - you realize that you have a HUGE advantage when it comes to using your thumb to cut off the end of a hose to spray other people. That, and hitchhiking. Better unusual thumbs than a fat ass or an ugly face. GO MEGAN!!

  10. Wow. Thumbs? I depend on you people to give me a reason not to fantasize about her and the best you can give me is THUMBS? You are fired!

  11. oh please!
    shes GORGEOUS.
    PERIOD. THE END.

  12. damn shes ugly as hell without all 10 pounds of makeup and bronzing gel or the obvious lip plumping crap she had on her lips trying to look like that fake lip ho-bag Angelina ho-lie yuck shes just the bottom of the damn barrel this doesn’t even look like this chick from transformers all the guys are drooling over..and shes bony as hell and people talk about Nicole Ritchie..she needs a sandwich and a thick milkshake w/extra ice cream.. yuck

  13. Sure, because that’s what every guy is looking at when they first see Megan Fox.

  14. Mother of God, how many times have I said she’s a fox on this site? This thumb bit was supposed to be ridiculous, because save those hideous tattoos, I think she’s damn near perfect. And I have an undescended testicle, so, obviously, who am I to judge? See, that was the irony bit. Get it? The grain of sand/plank in your brother’s eye gag. Ahem. Sometimes it’s like writing for a bowl of fucking mice.

  15. wanna see more of “these girls”?
    go looking for tory mussett or ashley lynn cafagna …
    n-joy!!

  16. who ever wrote this is a fuckin loser - they’re just jelous cus they look nothing like her - your bashing someone on their thumbs? - your a fuckin idiot!

  17. WTF?!?!?!?! I smell a fat-ass ugly ass man who is just hated on a VERY beautiful girl, I see she has money and yo bitch ass broke and writing about her thumbs and she dont even know yo wack ass. You a lame so go jack off to yo japenese anime cartoons bitch

  18. HAHA!!! people are taking this serious ..what dopes.
    yer awesome abby!

  19. wow you losers are seriously making fun of megan fox’s thumbs. you have no life.Megan fox is gorgeous and the girls that are bashing her are jealous because they dont look like herandthe guys are mad because they can’t get girls that look as good as her.

  20. If she were giving me a handjob and I saw those nasty thumbs I would totally throw-up all over her face. I don’t care what anybody says, stuff like that on a hot girl is totally depressing and makes me want to vomit. Its like a pretty girl with big ugly feet, sick sick sick!!!

  21. I have the same thumbs and guys tell me I am gorgeous all the time. What makes anyone elses thumbs the right thumbs to have. This is ridiculous that people can think someone is disgusting because their thumb nail is shaped differnt than other peoples. It must be hard to be so goddamn perfect like the author of this article.

  22. OMG! and i thought i was the only one in this world! my thumbs are fricken exactly alike hers its almost scary! i get made fun of my thumbs all the time but in a good way and most of the crap i get baout my thumbs is from my boyfriends! what does that tell you? i get told all the time how cute my thumbs are. here you have an incredibly gorgeus girl and all you can make fun of is the shape of a thumbnail and suddenly your turned off? you people are sick as fuck

  23. ggNo Gravatar

    Ok, so this was supposed to be written as a joke? I came across this tonight, and i honestly did feel bad, because first - I couldn’t believe that someone would put her down like this over her thumbs! Second, I have thumbs like this as well. It’s probably more common than people think. Anyway, if this post was meant to fool people - you did a great job, because it reaks of cruelty. I’m not saying you’re cruel, but the post really sounded this way. I’m thankful if you are joking, and i just hope that people (those who do make fun of her for it) will grow up and learn what is important in life.

  24. samNo Gravatar

    whoever made the title “megan fox is a freak” is probobly someone that is pretty ugly themselves cuz its a THUMB!! who gives a shit! no one can even really notice somehitng like that. definately over reacting to call her a freak. shes prolly 10 times more gorgeous than you, yah fucking idiot!

  25. r u serious?? a freak?? overreacting much!! i have the same thumbs and as i read up there ^ a lot of others do too. plus ive seen at least 10 other people with that type of thumb too. they are a lot more common than you think. who gives a shit ne way. do u really think that a girl as gorgeous as megan fox could not give a guy an errection cuz of the shape of her thumbs!! yer fucking RETARTED!! if ashton kutcher had those type of thumbs id still bang the shit outta him!! yer FUCKEDDD!!!! (whoever made heading “megan fox is a freak)

  26. DanNo Gravatar

    What fucking shallow asshole makes an article like this? I’ll have you know that clubbed thumbs originate from the genetics of the English Royal Family, and have been noted in history as a sign of purity. I have clubbed thumbs and they are rare and beautiful.

    Go find something original about YOURSELF, sad twat.

  27. AmyNo Gravatar

    I have the same thumbs. They are sweet!

  28. Omg.., my teacher’s thumb looks just like that.., and she actually has some kind of abnormality(but i cant remember what it is called).., its a serious condition.., she told my class about it once..

  29. This was obviously written as a joke… Learn humor people. :-D

    But on a serious note, most of her tattoos (especially the Marilyn Monroe one) are ridiculous. First of all, why put tattoos in a visible place when you make your living as an actor? Secondly, tattoos are a big turn off for me (I realize some people like them). Thirdly, why Marilyn Monroe?!

  30. dam, those thumbs are fucken very unattractive.
    Keep those things away. The tattoos rock, but those thumbs
    will never go near my cock….

  31. The best thing is the guy on the right in the last photo trying to hide like he doesn’t want to be associated with Megan Fox !!!!!!!!
    What’s his story? :)

  32. YOU ABSOLUTE TURDFACES! you cannot be serious - as if she can help having those thumbs, shes way more famous than you will ever be you cockmunch! You spand way to much time on the internet and following other peoples thoughts! NO BODY CARES SICK FACES!

  33. kitNo Gravatar

    She has a deformity called ‘clubbed thumbs’. The thumb and nail is abnormally short and wide and balloon out from the joint instead of tapering like normal thumbs do. The condition is also called ‘toe thumb’ and has been linked to several diseases although someone can have one or more clubbed thumbs and not be prone to disease. They really are freaky looking.

  34. You are pathetic!!! Nobody’s perfect!!! She’s still super hot and you are just jealous you can never get someone like her….Idiot!!!! Get a life!!!

  35. Pffft they’re not THAT bad! She’s still hot. Besides, who’s paying attention to her thumbs? All that hotness is up on her face!

  36. her thumb looks like my vagina with a fucking toe painted on it!!!

  37. Ur Right Abby, Its like “writing for a bowl of fucking mice”. Honestly, i think the global obsession with everyone having to be perfect is ridiculous! Have you ever picked up a trash mag????? EVERYONE OF THESE SUPPOSEDLY PERFECT PEOPLE LOOK PRETTY AVERAGE ON A NORMAL DAY! They all have it; cellulite, pimples, too large, too thin, bad hair days, strange anomolies (webbed toes, third nipples… EVEN UNDESCENDED TESTICLES). Why is everyone so interested??? Oh, How hypocritical of me…. Why did i end up reading this??? i clicked on a link, then another link, then another random link… and here i am… Oh the internet is such misleading web of lies!!! lol, oh and totally… WHAT IS THAT GUYS STORY???? :P

  38. Wouldn’t the world be wonderful if we could each choose all of our parts before being born! I hardly think picking on her thumbs is fair, as she certainly cannot control the genes she inherited. Boo - to you. Not a fair shake.

  39. HA! None of you would be saying anything nice if this were any other celeb but because it’s OMGZZZ HOTT megan foxxxxxxx!!!111! no one can make fun of her. Everyone’s fair game…

    I knew a girl who had thumbs just like these, and hey, if you have them too I am truly sorry for you… because they look like fucking toes. And that’s gross. Yeah, I know. The truth hurts.

  40. GGNo Gravatar

    ^ So what? There are many conditions or abnormalities that can seem ”gross” only because you’re not used to them - but then you realize that it’s nobody’s fault and there’s no point in making fun of a person for having something slightly different. And I don’t care if it’s Megan Fox or someone else. No one’s perfect, you deal with it.

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