What Will Britney Do Next?
Here’s Britney Spears enjoying an afternoon constitutional along the Malibu shore. Let’s see if you can guess what happens next. Remember, this is Britney Spears we’re talking about. Is it:
A) An unexpected wind blows her hair into the lighter while attempting to fire up her smoke, catching her shitty extensions on fire, singeing her dress and prompting a “Stop, Drop and Roll” worthy of recognition in the archives of the Jedi order
B) Pulls down her underpants behind a rock and drops a load right there on the beach, all the while giving the paparazzi the “tongue between the fingers” sign for cunnilingus
C) Curls up in the fetal position with a pair of pinking shears and a bottle of Boone’s Farm and gives herself another impromptu “hair cut”
D) Strips out of her dress and lumbers straight into the ocean in a bra and panties, gratuitously digging at her ass crack and looking fat and disgusting.
All pretty believable scenarios! Find out what REALLY happened after the jump!
21 Comments, Comment or Ping
mom
What is there to even say anymore? It is so sad to see this kid throw away the success she had - she’ll be giving her next cd away in boxes of Cap’n Crunch!!!
Jul 19th, 2007
dad
Pathertic media whore.
She so starved for attention and validation that she’ll do ANYTHING to get it. She is now officially a disgusting human being. Nudie mag appearance and sex tape to follow. Ick!
Jul 19th, 2007
Penis Mightier
Fat? Not really. Disgusting? Lord yes.
Jul 19th, 2007
TT.Quick
BEACH PIG…..Nuff Said!
TT.Quick
Jul 19th, 2007
abby
Well, less fat than before, maybe, but still doughy and razor-burned.
Jul 19th, 2007
mel
I don’t care…I’d still hit that, then back up and hit it again. She nasty good!
Jul 19th, 2007
Jenn
Are those tattoos or crotch rot peeking out of her bottoms?
Jul 19th, 2007
abby
TMZ says it’s pubes.
Jul 19th, 2007
Ginger
Yeah probably a good idea to leave the babies at home, cuz I’m pretty sure little kids really HATE the beach. On a hot day. In California. Right, Brit?
Oh wait, you have a pool at your home don’tcha? So they are probably splashing around happily there, with the nanny.
But apparently Mommy needs photo-ops in order to go swimming.
Jul 19th, 2007
margaretta
Pubes? She shaves her head and leaves the pubes? Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh!
Jul 19th, 2007
GOB
Perhaps the socalled pubes is actually a mirkin since she shaved her head then wore a wig on her head maybe she did the same for her cooch. Mirkins are wigs for the crotch if you aren’t aware.
On a side note the guy helping into the ocean looks a lot like Ron Jeremy the pornstar. I had to do a double take to make it wasn’t him, but it would’ve been fitting.
When we get to finally see it all, there’s no place to go but UP! Ponder if you will on that one & you will get what’s going on.
She is still looking good for popping out 2 kids and retaining the natural butt & tits.
Jul 19th, 2007
Louis
you look outstanding to me
Jul 19th, 2007
Anise
This behavior is gross, but that girl is NOT fat! She has had TWO KIDS! She’s looking meatier than before and she’s a bit disgusting, yes, but the fact that people call that fat is depressing.
Jul 19th, 2007
matt187
brittney looks like she’s in pretty good shape to me. she may be a little on the crazy side, but i definitely wouldn’t call that body fat.
Jul 20th, 2007
Ginger
Oh people, let’s not get sensitive now! I’m sure no one actually thinks Britney looks fat here. It’s just fun to CALL her fat, because “Britney the Body” WAS fat like 6 months ago. And that’s funny.
Jul 20th, 2007
open mouth jones
hey- at least shes wearing panties. and they are not stuck haphazardly on her head!
Jul 20th, 2007
ack!
That poor dog. (I mean the puppy carried by the big guy.) Won’t someone save the puppy??
Jul 22nd, 2007
Billz
Good god!! Britney’s body is smokin’ hottt! If you guys call that fat, I guess I’m just into fat chicks then! The face is not so hot though.
Jul 22nd, 2007
carla
just a mom who want’s to enjoy the beach, what’s wrong with that picture?
Aug 7th, 2007
Macca
i think briteny looks really good, if she’s happy with her self that’s all that matters. you who call her fat and disgusting you need to get a life.
Aug 24th, 2007
ALEX
SHE WOULD GOT MORE ATTENTION IN PORN INDUSTRY RATHER THEN IN HOLLYWOOD,SHE LOST WHAT SHE HAD,SHE IS GOOD FOR BOYS WHO LOVES TO WANK
Oct 24th, 2008
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