Jessica Alba Dumps Cash Warren
Good news, boys — Jessica Alba is single again! According to Us Weekly
After two-and-a-half years together, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have split. The 26-year-old actress broke up with Warren, a 28-year-old producer, last week over the phone. Sources [say] that Alba, who was abroad over the weekend promoting Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, called Warren on July 22 and told him, “I’m not in love with you anymore.” Within hours, Alba had dispatched an assistant to the L.A. home they shared to pack up Warren’s belongings and move him out.
Coming home to all of his shit packed up is a pretty good way to make it clear your relationship is really over. So is sending him a picture of your smiling face hovering two inches over someone’s penis. Especially if you’re giving the “two thumbs up” sign on either side of your face. There’s just no arguing with that kind of enthusiasm. That’s how they rate movies, you know.
More of Jessica in next month’s issue of British GQ after the jump
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Meg
That’s pretty harsh.
Jul 25th, 2007
JohnL
She perspires too much. That’s why I dumped her. Megan Fox has the same problem. Did you see her in “Transformers”? Nothing but tits, sweat, and thumbs.
Jul 25th, 2007
torkue
Yeah, but you can’t see Megan’s thumbs when she sticks them up my ass. And all that sweat on Jessica isn’t hers–it’s mine.
Jul 25th, 2007
abby
I’m pretty sure there’s a law that states that you have to first be oiled up in order to pose provocatively in a men’s magazine. I think because all that slippery greasiness reminds guys of vaginas, which reminds them of lube, which reminds them of jerking off, which reminds them of their mother’s crying as they cower under the bed with only a magazine to cover their naughty bits. It’s a vicious cycle, really.
Jul 25th, 2007
Dragulf
Damn childhood and damn you Abby for making me remember that shit!
Jul 26th, 2007
RichPort
I hope she gets attacked by a pack of carnivorous sandwiches.
Jul 26th, 2007
Fillip
so… which one of us is going to rodger her first?
Jul 28th, 2007
natascha
whahahaha abby that was funny
Jul 29th, 2007
Anonymous
Alba and Cash are sitting together at tonight’s Warriors - Lakers game. Hmmm…
Dec 9th, 2007
michael
I do not care what you all say she can have me anytime
Nov 22nd, 2008
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