Britney’s song lyrics alone are grounds to take those kids away. (BWE)
Ashton Kutcher couldn’t look any gayer if he turned up in gay porno. (DListed)
Paris Hilton takes the money shot like a pro. (CelebSlam)
Jeff Goldblum gets hisself a piece of the Conan pie. (Popoholic)
$1500 for a beat-ass Versace dress — $30 for dry cleaning […]

An unnamed man was seen in Berlin yesterday with this hell spawn slightly resembling actress Christina Ricci. The guy apparently must be impervious to demon attacks, because otherwise he’s either just really brave or really stupid to be standing next to that thing like that. Those sunken dead eyes are chilling me to my core […]

This promo shot was just released to promote the fourth season of Desperate Housewives, and boy do these ladies ever look amazing! And when I say “amazing” — naturally I mean they rate somewhere between Betty Boop and Jessica Rabbit on the scale of Authentic Looking Women You’d See in Real Life.
It’s times like these, […]

Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis were seen leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills earlier this week after celebrating Davis’ birthday. I know he got the nickname “Greasy Bear” for a reason, but God damn this boy is greasy. Like, “dipped in a tank of Crisco” greasy. Or, “I need to Windex my fucking computer monitor” […]

Britney Spears retarded new single, “Gimme More” has officially been released, or leaked, or whatever the hell you want to call it. Now I’m not what you’d call a “connoisseur of shitty music” — but I’d have to say this sucks even for a Britney Spears song. Despite the unintentional hilarity of her assy opening […]

Gwen Stefani gives the haters a little more to hate. (MollyGood)
Quentin Taratino is a douche of epic proportion. (Celebitchy)
Cindy Crawford’s cougar rack doesn’t disappoint. (Tasteful Celebs)
Speaking of cougars — me-ow, Elle MacPherson! (Egotastic)
Sophia Bush melts the pants of teenage boys everywhere. (Fatback)
Bridget Moynahan uses the new baby to punish Tom […]

Don’t be fooled by Zen master Lindsay in the above photograph — she’s as much of a coked-up whore as she ever was. Female First reports
Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been caught taking drugs in rehab.The ‘Mean Girls’ star was allegedly forced to undergo a drugs test by staff at Utah’s Cirque Lodge facility, and the […]

Get ready to be knocked on your ass by Britney Spear’s comeback performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. According TMZ
Brit-Brit presented her opening act to MTV honchos this past Monday, and [revealed] that she’s “planning it to be a big comeback performance” and that her goal is to make it “shocking.” Amusingly enough, […]

Keira Knightley arrived at the 64th Venice International Film Festival yesterday the very picture of radiant health and vitality. It’s like staring down the human embodiment of the Fertile Crescent here. The Fertile Crescent in too-dark lipstick with greasy hair and all jutting bones and sinews and sallow skin caked with powder. […]

Lindsay Lohan’s estranged father Michael bashed ex-wife Dina in an interview with celebrity blogger Perez Hilton yesterday. Among other things, Michael claims to have proof that Dina is a compulsive liar and a drug user. London’s The Sun quotes him as saying:
“Everything out of [Dina’s] mouth is a lie. She is deceptive […]