Brangelina Deathwatch Begins

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Reports are coming in from all over this week that the Brangelina empire is on the verge of imminent destruction. This week’s Life & Style Weekly is reporting an incident earlier this week of Angelina throwing wine in Brad’s face. (via the National Ledger)

“They got into a huge fight about politics,” says an insider close to the Pitt family. (Brad, explains another insider, supports Barack Obama, while Angie’s a John Edwards fan.) “Brad ended up calling her immature. He says the next thing he knew, Angie was cursing at him and throwing a glass of wine in his face.”

The Daily Mail followed up with a story coming out in the new issue of InTouch magazine:

Sources say the relationship between Hollywood stars Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has already “fallen apart”, but they are staying together for the sake of their four young children. A friend said: “Brad’s had enough of doing what Angie wants to do and following her around the globe. But they still have to live close to each other for the kids.”

Seriously, did anyone really think that this was going to end well? The only other instances I can think of where a guy accumulates four children in less than three years are contained in episodes of Maury, and you know how that goes — usually ending with some 300 pound gorilla of a woman mauling some poor guy backstage. And those guys are gonna get off easy compared to what Brad’s got in store for him. Knowing Angelina — she probably already has a jar picked out where she plans on keeping his testicles floating in formaldehyde.

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15 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Brad can do better. Angelina has become ever more hideous as each new child has been added to the clan. I hope he leaves her alone with her refugees.

  2. and HOW smart is it to adopt a bunch of kids with someone you’re NOT married to??

    i cackle with glee!!

  3. I’ll take Brad on the rebound, no prob ;)

  4. No shit, buns!

    I was apprehensive about getting a dog in the first year I was living with Mr. Salted. And we didn’t even have to have the dog shipped in from Ethiopia or anything.

  5. Tis a dark dark day when brangelina is no more…my weekend is shot

  6. ang being against obama?

    she’s a fucking racist i knew it

  7. I just feel sorry for the kids, not so much Angelina and Brad…they actually deserve each other…he is a wimp and she looks like an anorexic bobblehead doll. No one should ever stay together just for the kids…

  8. Isn’t it a bit redundant to say “on the verge of imminent destruction”? It’s like saying, “any day now, they will soon be over.”

    I guess this nitpick says a lot about how much I care.

  9. Wow. I bet that little spat was right up there with the Lincoln/ Douglass debates historically, though I doubt neither Lincoln nor Douglass evey cupped there hands over their ears screaming “LALALALALALALALALALALALA” when the other was speaking, or retorted to any well made point with “No, YOU’RE TOOPID!!!” I think Angelina’s goal of looking like members of the villages she steals her children from, what with the malnourishment and lack of being attractive, is starting to infect her decision making. I hope she didn’t stick the kids Brad picked out in the microwave in retaliation, though that might have been funny.

    Hey, I said might…

  10. Good grief you honestly believe the National Ledger?! C’mon people, let’s not be ignorant!

  11. Amen to the post by HBIC.
    Why don’t more of you do some research when it comes to tabloid articles instead of just taking the crap for real?

  12. If at all this is true,I think it serves them right.Hated their relatinship from the start……..

  13. karma!!!!!!!!! thats all i got to say, he should’ve stayed with jennifer aniston! never liked brad’s and angelina realationship since the begining

  14. Yess karma is a total B****. What she did to jen is gonna come back and bite her and she deserves that!
    and brad pitt even though he is absolutely hot, but i m sure would have learnt a lesson!

  15. i like do ang joli 4 myself

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