There’s Something About Suri
Admittedly, I know very, very little about babies. But aren’t they supposed to — you know — look like babies? Because here are some recent photos of the the Cruise family and I’ll be damned if Suri isn’t a full grown child! When the hell did this happen? I feel like I’ve been duped, just like when Chrissy Seaver went from being a baby to an eight year old girl over the course of a three month summer hiatus. Did they think we wouldn’t notice? Come on, “Growing Pains” — “Sharing the laughter and love” my ass. You traded that baby on the black market for a fuggo redhead child! What became of the real Chrissy… Well, I guess we’ll never know.
But as for poor Suri, I don’t even want to know what kind of freaky placenta-eating Scientology shit they did to this poor kid to make her rapidly age this way.
More photos of Katie and her stupid fucking pumps and Tom with his Nazi haircut after the jump.
24 Comments, Comment or Ping
Penis Mightier
Suri’s almost as tall as Cruise. Not too long before he will force her to wear flat shoes all the time so he can feel like a man.
Aug 3rd, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Look at her, she’d kill ya just the same as look at you.
Kill it now I say….
Aug 3rd, 2007
Sorceressss
I know proper etiquette dictates not saying bad things about sweet innocent children, but since I’m going to Hell anyway…. This kid is so not cute, way too alien looking. And Katie? Holy crap, she’s looking more and more like a freaking Stepford wife every day. Is she wearing a pair of Depends under those pants?
Aug 3rd, 2007
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
Shame on you all for stooping so low - rag on TomKat all you want, but leave little Suri alone.
Aug 3rd, 2007
lookwhaticando
All I can say is that is 5 kinds of weird.
Aug 3rd, 2007
open mouth jones
Dude don’t let the alien find out y’all have been trashtalking her…She’ll use her thetan mind powers to crush you like the soulless humanoids we are.
Aug 3rd, 2007
Suri Cruise
Do not mock my robot mother or my midget father. They are under my control. I am the reincarnation of the Dark Lord, L. Ron Hubbard.
I will destroy you all.
Aug 3rd, 2007
15
i dunno, my baby is 2 & 1/2 and she’s about 3ft tall, very smart and not quite a baby anymore. when was suri born? she’s looks fairly normal to me. tho Katie, jeez girl, run!
Aug 3rd, 2007
margaretta
Ah, children of the corn arise!
Aug 3rd, 2007
margaretta
And those are the fugliest pants I ever saw on Katie. They look like they are on her backwards…hmm
Aug 3rd, 2007
Kim
I don’t know, she looks pretty normal to me as well. I think she’s cute, too, even though I detest her parents.
Aug 3rd, 2007
Teel
Why do they dress this kid like an English war orphan circa 1944? For all the shopping KH does, you’d think she’d at least look in the window of a Baby Gap once in a while.
Aug 3rd, 2007
Suri Cruise
I’m only going to warn you all one last time. Mock my twisted brainwashed alien-worshipping family one more time, and I will cut you open and feast on the steaming goo within.
Aug 4th, 2007
kathie@
Girlfriend needs to start dressing her age.
She looks like she is in her 40’s.
Aug 4th, 2007
overrated whores r bores
lol at the comments here…Suri looks a little like Katie and NOTHING like Tom
Aug 4th, 2007
Kim
Wasn’t Suri born just a month before Shiloh? So she is really only 15 months but she looks at least 2.
Aug 4th, 2007
luna
more evidence katie is brainwashed: who in their right mind wears pants pleated over their arse?
Aug 4th, 2007
kelly
she looks like a scary little brain eating martian
Aug 5th, 2007
aejr
for a min, i thought i was looking at the wrong site, like these were old pics from a 1940s website or something.
Aug 6th, 2007
jean
Chavs!
Aug 6th, 2007
Dat_DoOd
alien tard
Aug 6th, 2007
t
geez. katie looks like a zombie. girlfriend needs to RUN.
Aug 7th, 2007
peet
brooke shields had a baby the same day as suri… they are both 15 months old… but suri looks about 6 to 12 months older than brooke sheilds baby.
Aug 7th, 2007
Mike Paahana
i like that older look gets me hot thinking bout her
May 6th, 2008
Reply to “There’s Something About Suri”