There are rumors swirling down the marriage potty that things aren’t going so well for Pink and her husband of one year. A source tells Star Magazine

“It sure didn’t look like [Pink's husband Carey Hart] was married that night! He had a cute blonde in a tight dress sitting on his lap all night. They were laughing and drinking vodka with her arms wrapped around him in a corner VIP booth. Nobody seemed to make a big deal out of Carey making out with her. It was as if this was nothing new for him. Carey never mentioned Pink the entire night. It seemed like everyone just thought he wasn’t with her anymore, that they had broken up. They were seriously making out. It looked like Pink was definitely not on his mind. When the club closed, he and the blonde left hand in hand. They didn’t look like they were about to say their good-byes!”

Well, I guess you get tired of all dick, all the time. Especially if you already have one to begin with. Stands to reason you might want to experiment with something without balls and a foreskin. Unfortunately, “ball-free” doesn’t exactly seem to be Pink’s department. Maybe if you want to do it with a flannel-wearing water buffalo with a lot of moles and facial piercings. Yeah, then I’d say Pink is your girl. But that would also make you some kind of bestiality pervert, so… catch-22, really. I think that’s what philosophers are talking about when they mention a “gray area.” That, or else the spot where an elephants wiener meets its scrotum. Oh, it’s all balls today, boys and girls! You can practically smell the class from here!

Related Stories

• No Related Stories