Your penis wants to know who Ashley Tisdale is. And when your hand is coming back. (The Grumpiest)

Sit back and watch childhood nostalgia get anally raped by Hollywood. (Pajiba)

Kate Beckinsdale dressed as a slutty schoolgirl. And drunk. I still have one more wish left! (Fatback)

The girl on the cover of next month’s Allure is NOT Britney Spears. (Socialite Life)

Kathie Lee and her sternum celebrate twenty years of Regis. (Jossip)

So where exactly did they put Heidi Klum’s nipples? (Wizbang! Pop)

Jessica Biel signs a contract that mandates the showing of boobs. Three cheers for lawyers everywhere! (Evil Beet)

I refuse to comment on “The Hills” because I’m allergic to crap, but here’s everything you ever wanted to know in one handy recap. (IBBB)

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