Sienna Miller took a break from whoring around with Boromir this weekend to whore around with co-star Rhys Ifans in Ibiza. And what better way to whore around with a co-worker than unleashing the titties? They’re called “the big guns” for a reason. I find nothing cements a good office relationship like airing your girls. They’ve saved me many a time I showed up drunk and late for work. But if by some strange reason that doesn’t work for you, you can always just rip your blouse and smack yourself around a little and tell everyone Larry in accounting tried to rape you and that’s why you missed the conference call. Or set “Good Morning Al-Qaeda” and “The Daily Jihad” to favorites on the HR guy’s computer and plant fertilizer and nail polish remover in his desk. It’ll be the last time he threatens to fire you, I promise. Or you could just offer to sleep with him. I might roll over and assume the position for any upper management looking my way, but you better believe my 401k doesn’t roll over for anybody. I’m all about job security and long-term investment. Consider it an exercise in fiscal responsibility!

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