Britney’s New Song Will Blow You Away

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Britney Spears has managed to lay low these past few days, presumably hard at work on this massive stinkbomb that just hit the net — the yet untitled stinkbomb’s lyrics are as follows:

Everyday, I’m in a daze
Looking for that someone
And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray
Oh, sweet love, can I get some?
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
I need your love right now!
And if you desert me, baby boy
Don’t you leave me in your crowd

[Talking]
Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?
Oh, really?
[Sigh]
Alright, well, I’ll see you later, then
Oh, wait
Would you mind getting some…
Yeah, when you come home
Yeah, that’s it
I love you too
Bye

[Singing again]
Some day when you see my face
You will think that you have won
And some day when it’s all away
Our love just begun
So why did you desert me, baby boy?
I thought that you, you were the one
So if you preferred the other one
She won’t bring you the sun(son)

If you were so inclined, you could actually listen to this piece of shit here. Or you could just listen to Jeff Daniels spray-painting the inside of a toilet in this scene from the silver screen masterpiece “Dumb & Dumber.”

It’s the same aesthetic experience either way.

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Song? Toilet? Same same

  2. I meant audible explosive diarrhea = Britney’s new song. The toilet doesn’t really do it justice.

  3. Oh, I get it, just plain crap?

  4. Dumbe Blonde Middle School would like to announce that Mr. Hankey and Brit-Brit will be performing a duet during seventh period. Due to the nature of Brit-Brit’s new song, Mr. Hanky was overheard saying he smells a (s)hit album coming from the tarnished star and wanted to be there when fans flush their money into his office at Stanky Recording Studio.

  5. WTF … why wont this washed up hooker go away!

    How do people in the studio with her keep a straight face when she is singing this crap?!

    “Umm, yah, Brit … that one was damn good!” LOL!!

  6. Shannon, the same way they did when she sang lyrics like,
    Oops!…I did it again
    I played with your heart, got lost in the game
    Oh baby, baby
    Oops!…You think I’m in love
    That I’m sent from above
    I’m not that innocent

    Lyrical genius, I tell you.

  7. NOTHING compares to the lyrical crappiness that was “Slave 4 You”…I think they literally took the handwriting exercises of preschoolers and made a song out of them.

  8. If this sucked any more, they’d have to slap “Dyson” on the side of it.

  9. Just remember, the fools who said she didn’t need the duet with JT.

  10. Ha ha, because she never loses her “suction”! Good one Rich!

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