Tom Cruise Has Defective Sperm
In the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, Nicole Kidman reveals that she tried to have babies with Tom Cruise during their marriage, and only decided to adopt after failed attempts and a miscarriage. Naturally, I blame Tom — because I just knew that Suri is a goddamn Chinese baby! From People:
“From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies,” Kidman, 40 (and 22 when she met Cruise), tells Vanity Fair for its October issue. “And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that’s when we would adopt [daughter] Bella,” now 14.
In the interview, Kidman is described as cryptic when she goes on to say, “There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.”
Complicated? Hmm. Wonder what could possibly be so complicated about a couple of healthy, young 20-somethings trying to have a baby? Except that we all know damn well what’s so complicated and it rhymes with, “Mom Eats Hay.” Or, “Strom Bites the Sock.” The only way I could be more “cryptic” about it would be to splice together stock footage of trains entering tunnels with photos of ancient Greek wrestlers.
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Nice to see she borrowed Paris Hilton’s bra.
Sep 5th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
Eventually the story will be told?
DEAD WOMAN WALKIN’!
Sep 5th, 2007
Shocker
This does not surprise me in the least. I’ve always had a theory about their relationship.
Let’s see, they adopt a couple kids, then BAM all of a sudden Nicole’s pregnant and Tom up and leaves?
It’s because he’s SHOOTING BLANKS. He knew the kid wasn’t his and he took off.
I don’t know who fathered TomKat’s kid Suri…..probably Zeno or some other alien from that freaky cult of his.
One thing I want to know is how much Katie’s getting paid for all this. Is she in it for money or did she get in over her head and fears for her life?
Sep 5th, 2007
margaretta
Scientology sperm is very special
Sep 5th, 2007
JohnL
I see dead people.
Sep 5th, 2007
Dragulf
Shocker, Everyone knows that kid belongs to that Chris guy Katie was dating before Tom. Or adopted. Whatever…
Nicole gets paid to not say bad things about Mr. Mapother.
Sep 5th, 2007
Penis Mightier
I fucking hate magazines. “Nicole Kidman bares all”, bullshit, she didn’t say anything anybody didn’t know already plus that isn’t even her on the cover. Its CGI Kidman….looks more fake than Spidy did in those three movies.
Sep 5th, 2007
bionic bunny
*sigh*
its been so freaking long since _I’VE_ said it, i simply MUST say:
TCLTC.
thank you.
Sep 5th, 2007
sonya
Tom will respond with a cover story for Scientology Weekly, entitled, “Xenu Ate My Mojo”
Sep 5th, 2007
redhead bitch
If his sperm is so defective then who the hell fathered Suri?
Sep 8th, 2007
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