Avril Lavigne Thinks I’m a Loser
Avril Lavigne displayed her uncanny ability for “diarrhea of the mouth” in a recent interview with Britain’s Q Magazine. Compliments of US Weekly:
On dealing with her incredible success:
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”
Whoa, whoa whoa, Avril. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. You were born to be a manufactured pop star? That’s like saying, “I was born to win the lottery!” Because when it boils down to it, any “size 2″ willing to dress like an ass and able to carry a tune over a heavily produced track probably would have done the job just peachy.
On her competition:
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way.
Avril you have a “look” people have been “copying” since well before anyone knew who the hell “Avril Lavigne” was. It’s called Hot Topic, you asshat.
On her generosity:
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’”
Yes, despite having more money than she knows what to do with — Avril shells out her used clothing to those in need. Because I’m sure Katrina victims would rather have a bunch of pink fishnets, wife beaters, and neckties with skull and crossbones printed on them in lieu of say, food and money. What a fucking humanitarian.
On her polarizing personality:
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”
Well Avril, you got me there — I certainly do hate you. But it must be “opposite day” or something — because last time I checked, I wasn’t the one with pink hair, a wiener husband and a plagiarized record.
More of Avril trying to dress like a big girl at Fashion Rocks Thursday evening, after the jump.
9 Comments, Comment or Ping
RebelBoy
….avril is an ASSHOLE!
Sep 7th, 2007
RichPort
Why is there an “X” on the carpet? Is that where they’re gonna drop that baby grand piano? If so, move over juuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit you nasty looking, screech singing, color by numbers ‘fashion’, studio sounding bitch. And please tell me that dot on her leg is cutaneous anthrax.
Oh yea, LS, this may be some of your best work ever. Hilarious. I just can’t wait for all the Avril ass suckers to come out of the wood work on this one.
Sep 7th, 2007
open mouth jones
Thank you for such an enriching, yet informative piece about this, as you say, asshat. (I’m adding that to my vocabulary as we speak).
To Avril, in the grand tradition of great Irish toasts,
May yer hair fall out, yer tit’s drop to the ground, and yer hubby leave you for… Nick Carter from the Back Street Boys (errr Men?).
Sep 7th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
If she is punk that must mean Henry Rollins and Johnny Rotten are Disney pop stars. If she wants to be hardcore, then back it up with harder music and some original lyrics, stop riding a gravy train that derailed with the wave of mainstream radio-friendly pop-punk bands like Greenday. By the way, I will donate a set of Doc Martens to get you started.
Sep 7th, 2007
PrettyBaby
She gave her used… smoke stanking clothes to the poor Katrina victims?! I loathe this bitch… her voice sucks, she is unattractive in EVERY way and need I remind about Sk8ter Boi.
That seriously hurt me to type that. gaahhhhhh
Sep 7th, 2007
margaretta
Her ego is so big her head turned red on one side as it tries to burst out of her feeble like oozing brain forming a giant ‘L’ on her forehead
Sep 7th, 2007
saratha
she’s really really NOT CUTE!!! I could understand the big head (no reference to that stuff on top her her head) if she acutally looked good and had decent music. But everything about her sucks and she for some reason thinks she the next John Lennon. Someone needs to hurt her feelings and tell her that no one really cares at ALL!!
Sep 7th, 2007
bigboobiesrule
Total shit for brains
Sep 9th, 2007
sttephanie
then im proud to be a loser because avril,i hate you and your music!what a hypocrite this bitch is.its ok for her to put down other artist and their music,but you’re a loser if you put down her music.how stupid!avril,get over yourself the rest of us already have gotten over you!
Sep 27th, 2008
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