Madonna Buys a Fake Penis
Never one to shy away from a good sinew or vein, Madonna bought herself a brand-spankin’ new penis over the weekend. And it’s purple! The Daily Mail reports
Madonna was spotted leaving London’s Claridge’s Hotel toting a see-through plastic bag which revealed her latest purchase - a strap-on sex toy. Apparently it’s a Purple Penetrator, so perhaps Madonna really does wear the trousers in her relationship. Husband Guy Ritchie, who trailed behind looking rather sheepish, had a carry case of his own, but had the good grace to keep its contents under wraps.
Any man who slinks along behind his dildo-wielding wife like some kind of forlorn sex mule could only be toting one thing in his bag — gerbils. And probably some coke. Maybe a couple of genital prods. I guess that’s more like three things, really. But when declaring for customs, I find it’s better just to lump them all together as “commercial merchandise and gifts” and wear a fake moustache and monacle. And I also find it’s better to keep your pants on until the customs guy tells you to take them off and not wear your “Al-Qaeda is Just Al-Right With Me” t-shirt under your sweater vest. Really, you should just trust me on these things.
One more of the Purple Penetrator in Madonna’s bag after the jump
30 Comments, Comment or Ping
BarbadoSlim
Love that you have such a t-shirt I have one that says Osama Yo’ Mama, I call it “post-terrorist ironic” chic, it’s the latest in hipster wear.,
Sep 11th, 2007
abby
I have one that says “I did it with your mom in the butt.” It’s not really ironic or anything, but a real hit on Mother’s Day. I could make you one if you wanted.
Sep 11th, 2007
open mouth jones
I love her smirk in that picture. It’s like, ‘yeah he’s gonna get it. He’s gonna get hard!’
Remember, Guy: It’s important to stay calm and relaxed, lest sensitive tissues tear.
Sep 11th, 2007
margaretta
It’s the new Madonna Barbie!
Sep 11th, 2007
P-unit
HARSH
Sep 11th, 2007
Chester'sLiver
I don’t think Richie should be cared of it since “REPLICA” is written down the side of it…
Sep 11th, 2007
Chester'sLiver
*scared not cared….
Sep 11th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Disclaimer on box: Vasoline not included.
Sep 11th, 2007
epic lulz
~fartz~
Sep 11th, 2007
Ren
The scariest part of the picture isn’t the strap-on; it’s Madonna’s veiny old-man-hands.
Sep 11th, 2007
a_goon
Madonna is a bit of a lesbian, maybe she’s planning to use it on britney spears at the next MTV awards.
Sep 11th, 2007
stairs
LOWTAX LIED GOONS DIED
Sep 11th, 2007
Sorceressss
So Gay Richie likes getting pegged, I guess he would have to otherwise he would not have survived in this marriage for so long.
Sep 11th, 2007
jacobleno
Heeeere’s Frankie!
Sep 11th, 2007
protected
what
Sep 11th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Just a virgin… bent over for the very first time…
Sep 11th, 2007
My Dixie Wrecked
Madonna has ape tits, and a snatch colder than Poland.
Sep 11th, 2007
robbyrob
i think its pretty cool that Madonna still parties like this!!
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2243846
Sep 11th, 2007
160K Man
I promise you that he’s carrying a gallon of lube.
Sep 11th, 2007
Modonna's dildo
Who’s puttin me where now?
Sep 11th, 2007
mom andrews
hey buddy KABOOOOOOONGA
ichi ichi ichi VACHOONK A MONK A SKUNKA DOO
Sep 12th, 2007
RichPort
That’s what he gets for nattering like a bloody pikey. I’m sure he’ll be directing his next movie standing up the entire time.
Sep 12th, 2007
gaycurmudgeon
What Guy Ritchie’s carrying in his bag: his balls.
Sep 12th, 2007
useyourimagination
Maybe he is strapping it on and she’s getting a double dose…
you people have no imagination
Sep 12th, 2007
Thatguy
maybe the guy need some tool, maybe his own is to small.
Sep 17th, 2007
Vision
Lets say they ARE going to use it her on him (and there could be so many other possibilities), then who cares? For one, they are the one’s having fun. Second, At least he’s cool with his sexuality, unlike a huge percentage of guys. And Thirdly, why is everyone so scared or judgemental about how we can or can’t or are supposed to have sex? So long as the people involved are cool with it and having fun getting their rocks off…. …Live and let live, people! You could have so much more fun that way…..
Oct 3rd, 2007
Chelsea
Madonna still has it.
Not that she ever didn’t have it. I find this picture very amusing.
Madonna = God.
Oct 12th, 2007
UpAllNite
Me an my hubby used a strapon for a few years because of his ED (erectile dysfunction) but last year he got a AMS700 penile implant (day surgery 45 min’s) (search ams700). The pump an release valve is in his scrotum an when he pumps it up it stays rock hard for as long as we want, all 9″ plus the grith has almost double’d ummmmm, it’s like i’m a virgin again ha ha ha. It is as cloce to a natural erection as can be and the feel is sooooo great, i love it. I’m 36 & he’s 42 & we do it 3 to 4 times a week an make up for lost time on the weekends ummmmm yummmmm. You go Madona
Amy N Louisiana
Jun 5th, 2008
Heywood Jablowme
My girlfriend likes gangbangs but I don’t let other guys come over so i put a strap on over my right hand and stick the dildo along with my whole right hand up her ass. Maybe they’re doing the same?
Jun 5th, 2008
meee
or maybe its just a publicity stunt which lets be honest its 99% of what her career consists of, and the last laffs on us lol
Aug 17th, 2008
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