Britney’s Abs Were Fake
You, too, could have the chiseled physique of Britney Spears with the help of a little something known as “dihydroxyacetone.” And no, dihydroxyacetone is not the scientific term for “deep fried Oreos.” Us Weekly reveals
Britney Spears didn’t end up working with Criss Angel on her VMA comeback performance, but her stage show was certainly full of illusions. Her lip-syncing was meant to give her the appearance of an actual singer, and her spray-on tan was supposed to make it look like she’d spent hours in the gym (as opposed to the bar). “She had an ab-defining spray tan preshow to create the illusion of more tone,” a source tells Us. Well, we know how that turned out.
I guess you could paint stripes down the sides of a Hefty bag packed full of Jell-O and loose change and trick me into believing I was actually looking at Britney Spears’ abs. That’s a little something we in the art world like to call “the trompe-l’œil.” You could also pour hot tar in my eyes and kick me in the kidneys a couple of times until I passed out instead. I think that’s what we in the art world would refer to as “sweet, sweet mercy.”
13 Comments, Comment or Ping
margaretta
Fake? Well duh! I thought Miss Piggy spent hours in the gym to attain that figure. Next you’re going to tell me that isn’t her greasy hair?
Sep 13th, 2007
RichPort
At least her embarrasment and lack of talent are real.
Sep 13th, 2007
Dragulf
I have been saying she is terrible for the past 10 years and FINALLY people listen!
Sep 13th, 2007
abby
Well, tonight is the last time I’ll be watching “Crossroads,” that’s for sure. It’s all “From Justin to Kelly” from now on.
Sep 13th, 2007
open mouth jones
Color me shocked. Is it wrong to want to kick her when she’s clearly down? Cuz I’d really like to tell her face to face that she’s a, how do you say? Ah, that’s right! FattyFattyBoombalatty!
Thanks abby!
I knew I could rely on you to help a lady out.
Sep 13th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
What’s the problem… at the trailer park, she is considered anorexic looking.
Sep 13th, 2007
gb
Brit’s far from what I would call ‘fat’… she is out of shape for a VMA performer though. Excericse and the loss of about 10 pounds would put her back in the game
Sep 13th, 2007
Blubbo Teh Clown
Oh big shock. Fake abs, fake “singing” (lip-synching), fake “music” (always written by someone else)…fake celebrity. Congrats Britney, you are the physical embodiment of The Almighty Payola, the ultimate sock puppet.
And the worst part is, she STILL doesn’t see it.
Sep 13th, 2007
robbyrob
Fake? Well duh! I thought Miss Piggy spent hours in the gym to attain that figure. Next you’re going to tell me that isn’t her greasy hair?
lol my thoughts exactly!!
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2243834
Sep 13th, 2007
Joe B.
In 50 years, we’ll be talking about spray-on talent, and they’ll all be using it.
It’s a floor wax.
It’s a dessert topping!
Floor wax!
Dessert topping!
Now, now, you two, it’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping.
Sep 15th, 2007
miranda
out of shape for a vma performer? missy elliot has performed several times people. she just looks like someone who has just had 2 babies thats all.
Sep 23rd, 2007
BLOPPO
Britney…Britney…..I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Please let me suck your abs while you sing the Mickey Mouse song.
Sep 24th, 2007
TEXAS CHICK
BRITNEY IS FAR FROM FAT! BUT IN HOLLYWOOD SHE IS FAT! I WISH I LOOKED THAT FAT AND ALSO TV ADDS 10 LBS. SO SHE LOOKED PRETTY DAMN GOOD TO ME!
Sep 27th, 2007
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