Britney Spears Might Lose Custody Today
Kevin Federline has unleashed a damning secret witness in his custody battle with Britney Spears. According to Fox News
Britney Spears could lose custody of her two little kids as early as Monday morning, thanks to crusading Los Angeles attorney Gloria Allred… bringing a “secret” witness — described only as a man who’s had close observation of Spears’ behavior with her kids — to court [this morning] for the custody battle between Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline. The likely observations from the witness concern drug usage by Spears in her home and in front of her kids.
Allred [has] kept the witness’ identity a “secret” so as not to start a publicity war, but when the declaration was filed on Friday, Spears and her attorney Laura Wasser would have learned his name. The person in question is not a drug dealer.“You may recognize him,” Allred [said]. “But maybe not. He is not famous. He’s just someone who’s concerned about the kids.”
Could the secret witness possibly be the maître de at the Chateau Marmot hotel? Because he got an eyeful of Ms. Spears in action over the weekend. London’s The Sun reports
And it seems “acting weird” doesn’t begin to describe her latest act of lunacy, which saw Britney stunning fellow diners [at the Chateau Marmont] restaurant by smearing a plate of top-notch food over her face. Horrified guests were understandably outraged and demanded the management kick her out for good. A source said: “The diners were disgusted. You wouldn’t expect that from a teenager in a fast-food joint. Royalty have dined in this restaurant. Her behaviour was totally unacceptable.”
And with that little display right there, Britney officially crossed the line from “stupid” to “short bus.” The only people with clearance to swab their faces with food in public are babies and retards. And even then it’s still gross. Britney probably just couldn’t shovel the food in fast enough. Really, who wants to be bogged down with things like “chewing” and “breathing in between bites?” Not a breeding sow or a water buffalo, that’s for sure. They mean business when it comes to eating. I just hope they serve Cheeto-crusted chicken nuggets with bacon drippings and Skittle sauce in that special needs program the judge’s gonna order she attend. After all, a girl’s cholesterol doesn’t keep itself up, you know!
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
Grab a protective helmet and starp yourself in– it is going to be a bumpy ride to Dumbe Blonde Middle School. Today’s lunch special deep fried cheetos with a side of bacon grease for dipping. And for desert, a nacho cheese sorbet.
Sep 17th, 2007
abby
Beef Wellington with a gummi worm glaze and a big steaming pile of potatoes au gratin. Wait, “au gratin” means “deep fried and breaded with M&Ms,” right?
Sep 17th, 2007
candida
Tempura Twinkies with a side deep fried Snicker bar
Sep 17th, 2007
overrated whores r bores
It’s the Mannie I reckon, Spears is a fucking basketcase and needs to be out of the limelight PRONTO
Sep 18th, 2007
contessa
britney needs a nice, long vacation in a mental institution.
Sep 18th, 2007
RichPort
Her birthday cake used Marlboro Lights as candles.
True story.
Sep 18th, 2007
open mouth jones
Between her and OJ, we’ll be entertained for YEARS, people. You just can’t MAKE stupidity like this up. It’s so improbable, it’s so unliklely. It’s PRICELESS.
To quoth the Seinfeld:
They’re real, and they are SPECTACULAR!
Sep 18th, 2007
DiamondSal
Anyone else think she is not crazy but evily planning a full fledge break away from any normal adult responsiblity? She wants to ditch the kids, the husband, the family and anyone who will stop her freedom to be a whore., and do what she wishes with out telling on her actions. She will pay out a great deal of money to whomever.. and hope you will feel so sorry for her.. and all that has happened to her was all their fault so watch for my big comeback! boo-hoo.
Sep 18th, 2007
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