Sep 17, 2007
Owen Wilson Shows Off His Battle Scars
Owen Wilson sexed it up on Venice beach over the weekend with brother Andrew. I’m sure he had to bat the bikini-clad kitty away with a stick the whole time he was there. Sure, he’s famous, but nothing screams “manly” quite like having a babysitter and a freshly waxed chest and big purple scars on your arms from a failed suicide attempt. I know the only thing that makes me wetter is finding out you spend your weekends sharing your feelings in a men’s support group because you lost all your money in a pyramid scheme involving organic cleaning products. Yessiree, I like ‘em crippled where a crutch won’t help. It makes using sex as a weapon so much easier.
More of Owen and Andrew at the beach after the jump
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Down the avenue, not across the street, you attention seeking pussy.
Sep 17th, 2007
abby
It looks like he just got done discussing his “not so fresh feeling” with his mother in that second pic.
Sep 17th, 2007
RichPort
Actually I’d kill myself if I was him too… he looks like shit.
Sorry shit, not trying to be offensive, just making a point…
Sep 17th, 2007
Joy Kennelly
I hate that people only feel better when they’re bashing others. Especially those who have had something traumatic happen in their lives. If this was your brother or father would you respond so harshly? Maybe with the upbringing you’ve experienced you would.
Just try to remember that this person is a human being with friends and family that really care about him. He deserves the same respect you would expect if you’d just gone through something so devastating.
Just be happy you’re not famous and enjoy your life without bashing someone who is obviously in a lot of pain. I hope you never have to deal with an addiction so strong that you feel like killing yourself.
That’s all. Just needed to interject a more compassionate viewpoint because I get so sick of people bashing celebrities just because they’re celebrities.
Get a life!
JOY
Sep 17th, 2007
robbyrob
man i dont know whats wrong with this cat… He has everything a man could want yet he wants to take his life!!
Sep 17th, 2007
nicky
slashed wrists or not, he’s still totally doable.
Sep 17th, 2007
Butch
nicky,
I’m with you. Something about a fragile lunatic who loves to toss salad is just hott.
Sep 17th, 2007
RichPort
Dear Joy Kennelly,
I imagine the fat lady’s about to sing, and you’re just waiting for the 2pm train to rumble down the tracks behind your home so you can do the rest of us a favor by making your head see through, so I’ll make this brief: if anyone from my family was so selfish as to sentence the rest of the family to a lifetime of pain, doubt, unanswered questions and misery, I say fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em long and hard with a big red rubber cock coated in Lindsey’s vaginal lube and Paris’ saliva. That’s right, fuck ‘em loooooong and haaaaaaard, because that’s what they’d be doing to us. Cry me a fucking river about the “be happy you’re not famous” bullshit too. No one put a gun to his head and said be a rich famous comedic talent adored by millions, then blow all of your money on cheap women and drugs, though if they put one right to his temple, he would have found a way to pretend kill himself that way too. Fuck Owen Wilson. He’s a poster child for all the shit people hate about this country, this fucking me-ism, I’m so depressed, attention getting bullshit. I hope that helps.
Hugs, kisses, and razor blades,
RichPort
Sep 17th, 2007
abby
I think I love you, Rich Port
Sep 17th, 2007
sonya
I think RichPort said it all.
But I bet Owen has a plaque with Footprints in the Sand mounted on his bathroom wall.
Sep 17th, 2007
Rhymes with Lassie
RichPort, Are you single?
Sep 17th, 2007
candida
RichPort, you romantic animal you!
Sep 17th, 2007
marius
hes a romantic gay
Sep 17th, 2007
contessa
i love owen wilson and i’m glad he’s not dead.
Sep 18th, 2007
RichPort
HI WALLY!!! (oh sorry, I mean marius…)
I love you all too, in a line up blindfolded and let’s play “guess that body part” sort of way…
Sep 18th, 2007
open mouth jones
i hate owen wilson. that butterscotch stallion took my jackie chan and shat all over him. i’d hate him even if Rich didn’t give me, like, 10 new reasons.
Hey Owen! here’s a newsflash fer ya: you’re supposed to slash up and down. not side to side. LOSER. can’t even commit suicide right.
Sep 18th, 2007
Jane Irie
oh my. i’m really jealous of his cleavage in that last pic….
Sep 19th, 2007
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